In Guam he is already 25 years 4 hours and 54 minutes old.... Approximately 7100 miles and 25 years ago today, I was certain my wife CTT3 Alicia Volkmuth and I, Cpl Brian Volkmuth were going to the brig and surprisingly it was my wife that was going to put us there. Our life of crime began about 2 hours into my watch at NAVCAMS Guam when a call came to the watch floor that my wife’s water had broken. The calm and collected Marine I was well known for being, completely left my body, I dropped the phone and sprinted for the front hatch. The armed Marine in the guard shack wasn’t nearly as shocked when the hatch flew open as he would be mere moments later when our 1984 Pontiac Sunbird momentarily achieved flight as it cleared the parking lot incline and I went around the corner of the building in a cloud of tire and oil smoke. The next few minutes were uneventful as far as I can remember and I arrived at our on base house to collect my wife who was looking uncomfortable and perplexed at the sounds coming from both myself and her prized car. I distinctly remember getting into the car 3 different times, each time getting another item that we MUST take with us. I also remember wondering if I should mention the seat belt but chose not to. We successfully avoided the law during our less than covert transit to the U.S. Naval Hospital Agana Heights, Guam. (It just occurred to me this could be one of those Top Gear contests, drive an about to give birth woman to the hospital, my money is on Capitan Slow) I don’t actually remember much about getting to the room other than the explanation as to the room accommodations. We were not what I would call accommodated. The maternity ward, they told us as we were being wheeled into a room filled with 5 beds, was being renovated and they had set up in true Naval fashion, this very utilitarian “Labor Deck”. Our arrival meant that the “Labor Deck” was at 3/5 capacity, and with two other couples having had the pick of the room; we were stuck in the very center bed. Each of our “private rooms” were separated by a curtain with just enough room on one side for dad and the two or 3 refrigerator size gadgets to monitor mom and baby’s health on the other side. We were admonished to be as quiet as possible as there were other mothers in the room and we wouldn’t want to disturb anyone. I am the oldest of 5, lived on my Aunt and Uncles farm for a few weeks, and was old enough to remember my two youngest brothers being born. To top it off, I could and still can quote Bill Cosby’s “Natural Child Birth” almost in its entirety. I distinctly remember the part where Mr. Cosby’s wife stood up in the stirrups, grabbed his bottom lip and told everyone in the room that his parents were never married. I had some expectation that an occasional stern comment may be directed my way. However, what happened, I didn’t predict and incase the statute of limitations has not run its course, I had no prior knowledge my lovely wife even knew the words that may or may not have been uttered in a room that may have contained an officer of the rank of Lieutenant Commander. The Lieutenant Commander asked my wife to calm and quiet down, this after an elderly Filipino orderly had failed some 5 times to start an I.V., she had been in labor for nearly 12 hours, her husband had moved out of arms (really closed fist) reach of the bed, and all the Demerol did was allow for brief moments of rest. My wife through clenched teeth informed the Lieutenant Commander what type of personality she had, what she could do with her suggestion and I am fairly certain challenged her to throw down right then and there. If I wasn’t already white as a sheet I quite possible became transparent, my eyes the size of my mom’s turkey serving platter and started looking for exits and cover. I noticed the I.V. bag was attached to the bed and the wires that had been run to various parts of my wife’s anatomy were bundled and connected at the head of the bed. We could make it! But before I could make the emergency detachments and get us underway, the Lieutenant Commander, calmly reassured my wife that she would be fine and that the calmer she could be the better it was for the baby. This officer was crafty, I made a mental note. In the end we were not charged, our son Michael Brian Volkmuth was born at 5:22 AM Guam time on September 3rd 1988 was 7 lbs 15.22 oz, and 21 inches long and had an APGAR score of 9.5 as I recall. Happy Birthday Michael! Your entry into this world is one of my favorite stories (this is only the Labor Deck part, the delivery room was another whole adventure that required mom, fully crowned, to be moved to another bed to make that journey) and fondest memories of your mother and mine early life together and becoming parents for the first time. We love and are very proud of you.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Sep 2013 00:20:49 +0000