In Noah, director Darren Aronofsky creates an environmental fable with creatures that could have come from a Transformers movie. **SPOILER ALERT** Aranofsky gives us a vegan Noah surrounded by evil people who anger God with their meat-eating and development of technology. (This struck me as inconsistent since non-human carnivores were welcome on the ark, and Noahs family was allowed to use mystical energy rocks and practice all sorts of magic.) Living beside the humans are beings called Watchers—angels encased in stone and looking like multi-limbed versions of Thing from Fantastic Four, or maybe monsters from a Michael Bay movie. Noahs Earth is a rocky desert incapable of sustaining human life, and we wonder where Noah will get wood for his ark. No problem: Methuselah gives Noah a magic bean that springs up into a forest and a network of bubbling streams overnight. Can one guy and his family build a giant ship? Nope, but thats OK because the Watchers turn nice and help them. But wait—how did the animals eat on the ark and why didnt they kill each other? Aranofsky has another device handy: Noahs wife has some kind of Wiccan aroma therapy that puts them all into hibernation. How will the Earth repopulate when the only young female on the ark cant have children? Dont worry: Methuselah is a magic healer who makes her knock-up-able. OK, now everythings OK and the ark is afloat. Not so fast: there is a bad guy stowing away and ready for a big fight scene with Noah. In Noah, godliness is defined as erratic righteous anger and we see Noah ready to commit cruel acts including infanticide to stick to Gods plan, the problem being that he is unsure of Gods exact plan and is operating only off flashes of insight and disturbed dreams. I found this movie stupid, boring, and over-long. People of faith may not appreciate having a noble work like Genesis reduced to a silly action fantasy.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 02:51:40 +0000
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