In early 1997, in the thick of winter, about 2 months after my mother died, two months after we buried her the day after Xmas, I was 16-years-old and I had run out of reliable places to live. My dad was in a homeless shelter. I had become estranged from my sister Lisa. I was so lost. I had a hard time asking my best friend Robert Bender to crash at his house one more time (though he and his mother Paula Smajlaj had always welcomed me with kindness, a sense of family, and hot plates of food whenever they could). But that winter I was really in trouble. I was so depressed. I missed my mother. I worried for my sister and what would happen to us. My high school transcripts were littered with failures and I would be turning 17 by the time the next school year started. Everything felt hopeless and I was starting to get the sense that I had missed my chance to get my education on track in any meaningful way. Thats when my friend Daniel Lachica took me in. Out of love, he offered me a place to crash with his girlfriend who I didnt even know. He always made me feel welcome, never made me feel like I was a burden to him--but of course I knew that I was. And then, in this tiny apartment in the Morris Park Section of the Bronx, this women who was his girlfriend, who didnt even know me, she took me into her home and let me stay for a while. Even after she and Danny didnt last and he had moved out, she let me stay. I remember that time period so well. We had massive sleepovers and so there were these mornings when I remember waking up to the sight of people sleeping all over the furniture, but there was Michelle, often the only one who got up early--every single day--to put on her blue Blockbuster Video employee shirt, grab her keys and head out the door to work. You can stay here for a while, she told me. But my one rule is no waste of life. Do something with yourself. I was so afraid of everything back then. I spent SO many days just looking out the window of her little apartment, which was above a chinese food place on Colden Avenue, and I was so scared about what would happen. But Michelle, only a few years older than I was, she cooked us meals and spent time sitting with me, showing me her black and white, collage-style yearbook from her alternative high school in the city, a place called Urban Academy. She told me stories about teachers at her school who really loved and cared for her and in doing that she painted a picture of an entirely different life that was possible for me, one that I had not really imagined for myself up until then. Danny also told me how another alternative high school had helped him move on with his life. He told me I could go back and that it wasnt too late. I absorbed their every word. I didnt get into Urban Academy, but shortly after I got into Humanities Preparatory Academy, where I met Eva who is my longtime friend and sister, and James, my love and the father of my children, Liam & Maya (my children who would not be here otherwise). Needless to say, with a lot of help from my teachers and my extremely dedicated high school counselor, Jessie Klien, I was able to put the pieces together and slowly change my life. ...Well just today, I did an authors event for Palm Beach State College in Florida, where they had chosen BREAKING NIGHT: My Journey from Homeless to Harvard as their common book for their freshman first year experience--and who is in the crowd but Michelle Brown. We hadnt seen each other in 15 years, but there she was, the same loving, generous spirit I remember. My heart stopped when she walked into the room. You NEVER forget the people who helped you. I dont think Michelle would mind my saying that after I spoke today, she took the microphone and shared a piece of her own story, which involved circumstances not unlike my own, bouncing around to different places as a teenager, and all the people who helped her. Thats how it works folks, people pull us along and then if were blessed one day we get to do the same. Thank you Michelle & Danny for your kindness during one of the darkest moments of my life. I will never forget it (what would my life have been like if you hadnt?) Ditto to Bobby, Paula, Jamie Garcia, her mother Julia Brignoni and to the many other people who helped me survive that time period. I was so afraid back then, but with all of you there I didnt have to go through it alone, and that meant the world.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 20:16:12 +0000
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