In keeping with tradition, the Army issued this OPORD 24 hours late, but it remains valid for all involved. Although this is the FINAL draft, comments are still valid in approved comment form. Thanks are authorized to LTC George Rosser, Florida National Guard, who is the primary distribution officer for this directive. OPORD 01 eff 201412240000HRS 1. GEN Santa (NMI) Claus will make his annual visit to this headquarters 25 December. The following instructions are in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit. a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This includes warrant officers and indigenous mice. Units request special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions through the S-1. Mice stirring permits can be obtained through Veterinary Services. Warrant officers are not authorized to cause a stir. b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap is: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Draw equipment from the supply room NLT 1900 hours, 24 December. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the “season of giving.” c. Personnel will utilize standard MRE sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in MRE sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced. Artificially sweetened plums are authorized for those in the unit weight control program. Specifications for this item will be provided by the servicing dining facility. d. Hang stockings, wool, cushion sole, by the chimney with care. Take necessary safety precautions to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters NLT 0800 hours, 24 December, ATTN: S-3 (Safety Officer), for approval. NCOs ensure Soldiers are briefed on the safety aspects and proper alignment for stocking hanging. e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all personnel will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. O/O OPLAN (Saint Nick), paragraph 3c, this headquarters, 2 February, is in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. 1SGs are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown open prior to start of official clatter. f. NLT 2400, 24 December, issue Night Vision Devices and assign all personnel “Wondering Eye” stations. Man these stations after shutters are thrown open and sashes are torn. 1SGs are responsible for rehearsals and timing. g. S-4 assigns one each Sleigh, miniature, M-24A2, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of GEN Claus’ driver. Assigned driver, IAW current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated for rooftop parking, and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen”. 2. GEN Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys draw Chimney Simulator, M-6A1, for use during ceremonies. Request chimney simulator units on DA Form 2765-1 submitted in four copies to the S-4 NLT 19 December, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-in. 1SGs ensure that Chimney Simulators are properly cleaned before turn-in. 3. Upon termination of GEN Claus’ visit, all personnel will shout “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” 1SGs are responsible for rehearsals and timing of shouting. //x// U.B. Goode Colonel Commanding Distribution: Everybody Who Still Believes
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 16:55:37 +0000
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