In life there are twists and turns and curves and we never really know when it will happen...I keep thinking go with the flow and live in the moment that is what is speaking to me...at the same time I realize some things must be planned...and to plan can get pressure to get it done on time or preform properly and at a certain pace...so again finding balance is a big key...and some things are really so out of our control...one of my dogs got really sick out of the blue and went thru months of treatments, blood tests, toe removal(yes toe), insulin, blood transfusions, just so damn many things...I never understood I cried I screamed yelled...anger anger anger...thru all this tho she NEVER gave up...I didnt understand why the pain the suffering it is not fair...but she honestly had a look in her eyes thru the whole thing like dont give up on me...I cant hardly explain it...her weak little body and immune system were dying but her mental was an ox...so I kept going for her...needless to say she is a spoiled rotten inside dog now...and NEVER gave up...and healthy well insulin still but she doesnt mind too bad...what Im related is dogs are like humans truly...and the drive and mental they have to keep going under horrible circumstances is amazing...for all this weve went thru it happened for a reason...just strange...other situations I want to rush and make them happen...but as with my dog story whatever is meant to be will be ultimately...I dont understand mental and physical sickness either...and the trap it has on people...I was there for so long trapped in the vicious cycle and so dependant...not fair why me that whole thing plays over and over but for whatever reason I went thru the things I have mentally and physically I know Im better and stronger...the LOOK in my eyes and will power and strength...I never gave up!!!!(like my dog) I wasnt ready to be put down or abandoned...I was ready to prove I had a purpose and that I could overcome my sickness...hope it makes some sense...lots of love...STAY STRONG!!!!
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 14:05:54 +0000
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