In light of tomorrows super important match to the great soccer nation U.S.ofA, I took a moment to enlighten my American friends and teach them a little bit about Soccer: 1) After an Offside you do not have a Faceoff in a neutral zone on the ice, the other team gets the ball. 2) The use of hands in soccer is only allowed if you are an Argentinian playing against England. 3) If there is more than 1 somersault/roll after a player has been tackled, its a flop. 4) No matter where you got hit, the right way to accentuate the travesty to the referee is by grabbing your face and screaming like a 5 year old who got a toy he already has in his happy meal, while dropping to the ground. You then have 5 seconds to peek and see if you got attention from anyone, and only then you can decide whether you want to carry on or give it up. 5) There are no time outs in soccer, and only 3 substitutions are allowed. Basically what I am saying is that the Coach is insignificant during a soccer match. Or before/after. Coaches are basically goalposts for anger and frustration by the losing sides crowd and media. 6) Statistics in soccer is completely useless. Ball Possession, fouls, offsides, kicks on target - all are completely and utterly useless. 7) The short guy who looks like he lost his parents at the line at Disneyland - is the best player on the planet. 8) David Beckham was an average/good player. 9) The clumsier the player is, the more exciting it is to see him dribble or score goals (Angel Di Maria, Peter Crouch) 10) The use of TV or technological aids to help the official, would hurt the efforts of Mafia, Gangs, Bookies, FIFA and other corrupt organizations to decide the outcome of the match and many other things you can bet on, and would basically hurt FIFAs efforts to make soccer an UNFAIR PLAY, something they have been trying really hard to do for the last 50 years. At least in the WWE they dont hide the fact its fake.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Jun 2014 21:19:01 +0000
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