In my 60 plus years of existence, I have experienced and seen many things. Childhood with sickness and well being, loved by parents, as I was the only child, loved by relatives but alone. Adolescence brought with it many changes and my dreams of becoming a teacher, a doctor, a cinema actor. My dear parents not for a moment gave me a single difficulty. Today i remember them each moment and thank them. Both my father and mother were from respectable families but of lower middle class. They provided me with the best of education possible so that I could be successful in life, all with their toil, sweat and tears. Due to them, I could enrol myself in research in Modern Indian History in Delhi University in 1975 76. But then my life with roses took a different turn and I was thrown into the vortex of cruel life with the demise of my father. My mother then took upon herself with her physical ailments my hardships and thank GOD was saved by a Govt. job given to me in a platter. Slowly I received back my material comforts and got married to a chaste lady, arranged by my mother all alone. 1982 was followed by the birth of our daughter Deepshikha in 1983. Mother was there, the post marriage continued with ups and downs and after 5 years my daughter left this world in 1988 from an attack of dengue fever. This was my second tragedy. Again my Ma saw in a dream that a boy child would replace late Deepshikha. GOD was kind enough to give us a boy in 1989. He was named Gaurab. The second tragedy changed my life to a considerable extent, I became more alone, less talkative, and with a slow development of narcissism and sometimes on the wrong track. My father in law, my mother and my mother in law expired in the80s and 90s and in the beginning of this century. Some of my relatives also left during this period. Thus I have witnessed several mishaps with a lesson that nothing is permanent in life. I gradually became less social, less a family man, though never shied away from responsibilities, and a recluse and a maverick. I had been deceived by some of my friends for fault or no fault and I, after more than 10 months of retired life have come to the belief That life is temporal, people are no longer the same, friendship is simply an exchange for demand and supply and all this makes me disillusioned with life. At times I prefer to call myself an apostate. But because of my religiosity, I love GOD, respect all religions and Mother Nature and never fear because I know that I am pure at heart. In all these years life has taught me the lesson..................Bewareof todays world, any time any thing can happen, save yourself through understanding and awareness, love each creature but go alone the path to transcedence and liberation. Do not rely on a crutch, have faith in yourself and perform your KARMA well. MY life is a dedication to my parents, to my relatives, to my real friends. GOD bless everybody....... July 22 Monday 12 37 PM.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Jul 2013 07:07:54 +0000
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