In my life I have been fortunate to have some amazing friends. The term friend however is not one that I use lightly, it is for all intents and purposes, is a term used to describe those who are truly close to me. As of late a new friend of mine has made me his mentor. In my life two people come to mind, one Benjamin cox and the other who will not be mentioned because he prefers his privacy. This young man I have adopted, is in essence a younger version of myself. His anxiety attacks happen constantly, has a good soul and is opinionated even when he ought not to. It is strange and almost surreal how taking the time to help another person changes and oddly heals you. As I help this young man with the pains of anxiety attacks and depression. It has forced me to deal with one of, if not my biggest, fears in life. That fear, is the fear of success and the future. As I look back on my journey through life, in the wells of introspective caves, things have been changing even without my own realization. Two years ago I had no social life, studied (literally) 18 hours at a time, creeped most people out. Now I view myself as not a troubled boy but a man who can finally get out of his own self destructive way. To the young man I have been taking care of, kid, it gets better. Even if you feel alone and you are crying to yourself because of how awful things feel. Try harder, stop beating yourself up and take time to live. Anxiety and depression can make one self absorbed. Dont let that happen to you, it happened to me and its not worth it. Who and what you are, are not defined by walls or institutions. Its the effort of trying to make yourself a better person that matters. Try to care about others, see the world as not a doom and gloom place where everything is out to get you. In the Talmud it says we must view the world as though it was created for ourselves. If that is the case then it was created for all of us to create for others. We live in the same world as everyone else and they are just as important. To understand how great and intricate life is for yourself, how much more so for the countless souls that exist. Listen my friends and mentors, I have no shame about my life. But will do everything in my power to not see it as only a self serving place to escape my anxiety. Knowing the world and reality is humility, take this step to see everything that you can and not narrow your focus on anxiety or depression. Lastly, the key to growth is not over thinking about life or obsession. Those two things will destroy you. Yes try every day to be a better person with all of your focus, but still see things as they are. I wrote this because it has been on my mind. Please forgive the bad grammar and spelling. All the best.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 03:14:07 +0000
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