In response to some people who have asked me to write more about my healing journey: My story is so involved I have not even written it yet. Don’t even know where to start! It involves my entire familys stories, especially also that of our 29 year old son who is finding balance from his lifelong mental illness, a severe documented case of OCD, which he suffered since early childhood and which, if you know anything about OCD, it consumes and destroys families --- ours no exception. The fact that we as a family are on this health journey all together and are living in harmony with one another and helping each other all the way is amazing. Plus at the same time that I have found myself crippled this past year from complication from two hernia surgeries which I will get into in a minute, the mental illness overtook his physical ability due to his extreme inactivity resulting from his mental fear of moving his body. He was so afraid of getting hurt all the time that he refused to move until the point that his entire body locked up and he could not raise his arms or turn his head or hardly even open his jaw which resulted in him needing to be fed, bathed and dressed all while I was unable to assist and needing care myself. Closest diagnosis we gotten so far is Fibromyalgia. Seeing him in just the past two months being out of the wheelchair, handling his own self-care and especially having a positive mental attitude, flowing chi instead of anxiety is the greatest miracle of all. Miracles are happening for sure but as far as I have come in the past three years of raw, I am still a work in progress, for sure not ready for my big reveal. Most anyone sees when they look at you are the flaws that still remain, no matter how many illnesses you no longer suffer from. It was not their suffering, and they did not know it or have to endure it. All they see is that Im underweight; they dont notice how my entire posture is corrected and my hump back is gone. I hid it under my long hair. They dont see how much less pain I am in. they don’t realize all the energy that has replaced my chronic fatigue. They only see that my face does not look perfect yet as there is still a trace of the dark line coming down my cheeks from under my eye that I have not totally erased --- caused by invasive tests that doctors performed on me back when I had pneumonia years ago. I didnt journal or take pictures along the way either so no big before and afters to impress, even though Ive lost a hundred pound of fat and mucus out of my body from my heaviest menopausal days to now. Although my muscles are way stronger than ever in my life, all people seem to notice is my smaller size and wonder if I am sick. All most people see when they look at you are the flaws and I’m not perfect by any means. Not ready for my big reveal, lol. Need to dig deeper on my detox and that is my goal going forward. To be such an inspiration that no one can deny and will finally take seriously and drop their fear of fruit – their savior. I have stopped talking to people about what I eat, although they do ask, I only answer to the level that they are serious and not just curious. As much as I have gotten my life back, outside of my immediate family, no one even realizes I ever lost it. Most people have only have ever seen me on a good day, all dressed up with makeup, usually out dancing, not knowing, that although I love to dance so much, I was never enjoying myself as much as I wished to be due to back pain from whiplash caused 32 years ago when I was nine days post-partum and a truck hit my car, spinning it onto the other side of the freeway. And this past year has been the worst episode of all that no one has witnessed outside of my household members. As I mentioned above, I decide to have surgery to repair an old hernia that occurred from a month long of coughing many years ago back in my fat and pneumonia days. I though it something that would not repair itself so I decided at the age of 61 to go ahead and have it fixed before I become too old for them to accept me. My energy and fitness level was getting so good that I just thought that I should get this over with and healed so that I could add some weight training into my routine once I healed. I have had complications including having to be re-operated on after eight months to repair a second hernia that they missed, nerve damage and rotating my pelvis which crippled me from walking or sitting all summer. I could not even sit at my PC, so I was absent not only from the outside world, but even from the on-line world. I was unable to even sit up or walk for about five months out of the last twelve. I could only sit in a zero gravity chair that I had to buy for that reason or lay in the bed. I didn’t even see my kitchen for all that time and had to be waited on for every bite of food. So sometimes I didn’t get enough to eat and lost some extra pounds I did not want to lose, got depressed, smoked weed, and fell off of being all raw, although I still adhere to the principles of 80% fruit and low fat and protein. I went from feeling like on top of the mountain and getting into my fitness pre-surgery to having a very boring year and I’m uncertain still of what my final outcome will be, as I am still having problems. I am still working with my yoga to get my pelvis rotation straight all by myself, as there seems to be no help. Multiple chiropractic visits has not helped and I have no health care. To top it off, I am now having a hernia bulging there still, but now it is even more painful than initially before this whole saga began, because now I have two strips of hard mesh inside of me pushing against my abdomen. My second surgery was on June 4th and I still cannot lift very anything very heavy at all, or be on my feet too much, like I was supposed to be able to do a long time ago. So although I have a new kind of strength in my muscles that I’ve never felt before in my life, am super flexible and have more energy than any time ever, don’t get sick anymore, skin cleared, arthritis melting away, hemorrhoids gone, digesting well, no longer constipated or dehydrated, skin soft as a baby, hair silky and shiny, and yada, yada, yada, I am still not very active due to the surgery complications. I wish I had not had the operation to begin with since I was not in any pain from the hernia, it was just embarrassing and also I didn’t want it to cause problems for me as I got older. I just became convinced that it could not heal by itself, but now I am not even convinced of that anymore, as I have since seen a young guy, a follower of 80/10/10, who has done just that! Healed his own hernia without surgery! I have always believed that nothing is impossible, but I told myself that this was one exception. I should have listened to myself and had more faith. 2015 is definitely going to be the year that I dig deeper, do some fasts and more cleanses, add an herbal protocol, study more, come into more balance and excel. I am back on track, nearly all raw again, focused, and determined. And especially initially sparked by Squee Becks remarkable healing story, I am regaining my motivation. And every day from this Solstice forward brings more light and healing energy to assist us all on our journeys forward. It is going to be a great year! And if I ever get it together to write about this crazy journey my family and I are on, I’m sure it will comprise a long article or maybe even a book to accomplish.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 19:58:53 +0000
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