In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare my rash has stopped burning, and also, that my copyright is attached to all of my typo-riddled status updates about my banal life, my bathroom mirror Instagram self portraits, my declarations of love for my worm-addled pets, and any and all blurry photos of my unremarkable meals (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times. But first, please validate my existence by liking my uninformed political opinions and free-verse poetry. (Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. Its amazing what people will post to their Facebook Wall. Sometimes they dont even read what they copy and paste. For instance: Joseph Stalin had a haunting singing voice.) By the present communique, I notify Facebook that I had no idea that this 100% free social media sites entire business model is to aggressively pimp all the personal and private information I so blithely shovel into its gaping maw. I thought it was just free, like magic! Furthermore, I have no idea how copyright law actually works, and my relationship status isnt really complicated, but making that lie public numbs the pain of loneliness. Facebook is now what it always has been – MySpace with a paint job. All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, because everyone else is doing it. If you do not publish a statement at least once, then you might actually have a life.
Posted on: Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:45:38 +0000