In the book caled The Structure Of The Muslim Family by the Shaykh Al Allaamah Muhammad Amaan ibn Ali Al-Jaami rahimahullaah pg 60 - til in Appendix 3 (A Persons Character is Exposed in the Home by Shaykh Abdul Maalik Ar-Ramadaani Taken from his book Al-Akhlaaq Al-Hasanah (74-82)). If it is difficult to understand how the best of people to their family are deemed to be the best amongst them, then here is an explanation that solves - by the Will of Allaah- any misunderstanding: the reality of a person is revealed in the home more than it is revealed outside, and this is an undisputable absolute principle. The underlying reason for this is that a person could always pretend to have good character outside of the house because it is only a small period of time that he will be in the presence of others outside the house. So he is with someone for half an hour, another for an hour and with the third for less than that or maybe more. When in their presence he is able to be friendly with a phoney character and a fake personality that does not project his true self, as is done by some workmen and employees who try to pretend that they have a good character and manners and they portray that they never breach the code of conduct or act stupid. But it is impossible for him to keep up this front forever in his own home because his patience will run out and when it does, he will return back to his normal self, just as the famous saying goes: the true character will always prevails. However, they are able to pretend for limited periods of time as is also done by some sinners. You find that if they desired to propose to a woman, they would mix and deal with them for a certain amount of time. Both of them would be on their best behavior and they would hide their shortcomings. If Allaah decreed for them to get married, then both of them would expose their true personalities. The majority of them who get married in this strange westernized manner which is foreign to the Islaamic approach find that their marriage is based upon treachery and deceit. For this reason rate is alarmingly high amongst those who go down this path. That is why a persons true character should be looked for in the house. There his softness is noticeable from his harshness and his generosity from his stinginess and his perseverance from his hastiness. How does he treat his mother and his father? There is so much disrespect being shown to the parents in this era! How does he treat his blood brothers? There is a great level of harshness in this era! All of this needs to be examined because living together (under one roof) lets people get to know one another. Analyze yourself in your home. How is your patience with your childtren? How is your patience with your spouse? How do you handle the household responsibilities? As how can the individual who fails to supervise and lead his house properly be suitable for leading this nation? This is the way to understand the Prophet salallaahu alayhi wa sallams saying: The best of you is the best to his family.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 06:30:56 +0000
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