In the words of the Great Oxford Don, William Archibald Spooner, now they are Loifully Jawed!! (Lawfully Joined) Once he told someone in church: Excuse me, but you are occupewing my pie! Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner (and possibly Spooners students) include: The Lord is a shoving leopard, or Come into the arms of the shoving leopard (Loving shepherd) It is kisstomary to cuss the bride (...customary to kiss the bride) Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet? (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?) You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain (You have missed all my history lectures, and were caught lighting a fire in the quad. Having wasted two terms, you will leave by the next down train) He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, Youll soon be had as a matter of course (Youll soon be mad as a Hatter of course) Let us glaze our rasses to the queer old Dean (...raise our glasses to the dear old queen. Note: Alternatively, Let us glaze our arses; presumably to be a spoonerism the letter r is placed at the beginning of arses but when spoken the rs in our and rasses are nearly indistinguishable, thus producing the alternative, more humorous glaze our arses.) Well have the hags flung out (...flags hung out) a half-warmed fish (A half-formed wish) Is the bean dizzy? (Is the Dean busy?) Go and shake a tower (Go and take a shower) a well-boiled icicle (A well-oiled bicycle) Ive lost my signifying glass. (Later): Oh, well, it doesnt magnify. This vast display of cattleships and bruisers. (This vast display of battleships and cruisers) Such Bulgarians should be vanished.... (Such vulgarians should be banished) He was killed by a blushing crow. (He was killed by a crushing blow) The sale of two titties. (The tale of two cities)
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 01:24:23 +0000