In this segment we are introduced to Shimon, a reckless businessman with an appetite for risk — especially when the money which he is investing is not his own. One day, Levi opens the newspaper and comes across an article about rumors concerning a lucrative business partnership between Reuven and Shimon. Levi is dismayed; Reuven is quite wealthy and Shimon is sure to make good use of his partner’s money. There is no question, says the Chofetz Chaim, that Levi is obligated to warn Reuven of the dangers of such a partnership (provided that the conditions of toeles have been fulfilled). This applies if the partnership has not yet been finalized. If, on the other hand, Levi learns of the partnership after it is already a reality, then the halachah is different. As we have already learned, it is forbidden to provide someone with information which would cause him to take action which is not sanctioned by halachah. Once a partnership exists, it is not a simple matter to dissolve it. Shimon may suffer a loss from the break-up and a beis din (rabbinical court) might rule that Reuven cannot dissolve the partnership without offering compensation. The fact that in the past Shimon has made some reckless deals may not be sufficient grounds for dissolution. Furthermore, in a court of law, Levi could not testify as a single witness. Even if he had a supporting witness with him, he would have to present his case before a beis din for Reuven to take action. Therefore, Levi cannot relate his concerns to Reuven if he will react by immediately dissolving the partnership. On the other hand, if by warning Reuven the result will be that Reuven will remain in the partnership but will be on guard to make sure that his money is used wisely, then Levi should inform him. The Chofetz Chaim also discusses a case where Shimon is not a reckless businessman, but one who has fallen on hard times. He had been successful in the past, but now has suffered some major reversals. Reuven, his prospective partner, is unaware of this, but Levi knows all about it. The Chofetz Chaim addresses Levi. “Beware, my brother,” he warns him. To relate such information would be, in the Chofetz Chaim’s words, “a great sin.” We are speaking where there is no evidence that Shimon’s losses had anything to do with recklessness or poor judgment. It was simply a matter of things not going his way. Therefore, says the Chofetz Chaim, there is every reason to believe that Hashem will now take pity on him so that he can succeed as he did in the past. Furthermore, assisting someone so that he can succeed at earning a livelihood and not have to live off community donations is actually the highest form of tzedakah (charity). And one never loses from an act of tzedakah (see Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 247:2). Day 124 - Stumbling Blocks SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Afterword: Business Situations (continued) In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim teaches us an important rule concerning giving advice. Shimon is seeking a partner with whom to start a business. He sets his eye upon Levi, who has a reputation as an aggressive, energetic businessman. Shimon does not know Levi personally, but his friend Reuven knows Levi well. In a conversation with Reuven one day, Shimon mentions his consideration of Levi as a partner. Reuven cannot believe it! His friend Levi has been unemployed for six months and is desperately trying to earn some money. Reuven had promised to help him find a job. And now the opportunity has fallen right into his lap! But there is something else that Reuven knows. Levi has been borrowing thousands of dollars and has yet to pay back a cent. His situation is becoming desperate, and therefore it is quite possible that he is prepared to make some risky investments to try and earn a quick, sizeable profit and pay off some of his debts. In his heart, Reuven knows the truth: he would not take Levi as a partner in his own business at the present time. The Chofetz Chaim informs us that there is a vast difference between withholding negative information about someone and offering advice which ignores such information. In our example, if Reuven were to hear that Shimon is preparing to enter into a partnership with Levi, it might be forbidden for him to approach Shimon and inform him that he considers the partnership a risk. He has no proof that Levi is going to do business recklessly; Reuven’s concerns are based merely on his assessment of Levi’s situation. For him to discourage Shimon because of this may very well be forbidden. On the other hand, for Reuven to ignore such information and instead use his conversation with Shimon as an opportunity to encourage Shimon to enter into the partnership would be a transgression of “Do not place a stumbling block before the blind” (Vayikra 19:14), which prohibits us from intentionally offering bad advice. The Chofetz Chaim bemoans the fact that some people offer such advice because they are blinded by financial considerations. For example, Reuven may be one of Levi’s creditors. He wants to see Levi earn some money so that Levi will pay his debts. It is in such situations that Reuven must be honest with himself and not offer advice that he knows is not in Shimon’s best interests. The same would apply in the area of shidduchim (marriage matches) and other types of relationships. 26 Elul, 5773 / September 1, 2013 Day 125 – Destructive Labeling SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Afterword: Shidduchim Situations The Chofetz Chaim devotes the remainder of his sefer to the topic of shidduchim (marriage matches). If we were to look at the Torah as a kind of “Manufacturer’s Manual” for how to conduct ourselves in this world in which our Creator has placed us, we would find the power of speech under a chapter entitled “Dangerous Material — Handle with Care.” In no area would this title be more appropriate than in the area of shidduchim. The information which we provide to a party who is considering someone else as a marriage partner for himself or for his child may well determine that person’s decision. Thus, such information may affect the lives of both parties for eternity. The Chofetz Chaim notes that his initial guidelines in this area are so obvious that they should not have to be stated. Nevertheless, he states them, “because of the terrible results which come [from ignoring these guidelines] — and [ignoring them] is perfectly correct to many people. Therefore, I have been forced to explain the great treachery of the baalei loshon hora in this matter. Perhaps through this, Hashem will help to remove some of the intense blindness in this area.” The Chofetz Chaim has very strong words for those who have the practice of labeling people with derogatory descriptions which have no basis. Although labeling purports to show a complete understanding of someone’s personality, in fact the assessment may be far off the mark. The Chofetz Chaim offers the example of a young man who is intelligent, but his sincere, innocent nature makes it difficult for him to recognize the shrewd, crafty dealings of others. Or, his spiritual level places him above taking part in the exchange of jokes or verbal fencing which his cynical acquaintances seem to enjoy so much. When an inquiring party seeks information about the young man, they are told, “He’s a nice boy, but not that bright.” Naturally, the party immediately loses interest. Because of this labeling, the young man endures many rejections from potential partners. The Chofetz Chaim has extremely harsh words for loose-tongued cynics who carelessly offer such false assessments. He applies to them the verse, “May Hashem cut off all lips of smooth talk, the tongue which speaks boastfully” (Tehillim 12:4). The Chofetz Chaim deems these individuals baalei motzi’ei shem ra, those who habitually speak slander, since they give false information about others. They are also guilty of causing others to sin, because they create the impression that to be considered “successful” one needs to demonstrate a quick wit. In fact, those who regularly engage in “quick-witted” conversation often are guilty of transgressing the laws of shmiras haloshon (guarding one’s tongue). The best way to deal with such people, says the Chofetz Chaim, is to stay far away from them. This segment concludes with the Chofetz Chaim cautioning us that when asked information concerning a shidduch, we are not to offer negative information about the party’s ancestors. What is important is the person, not his or her family tree.
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 14:34:42 +0000