Influences on Marriage Third party influences are inherent in any kind of marriage. The Bible explains that a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one. It does not say that the process of becoming one will be an overnight process neither does it say that there will not be challenges and influences to the two becoming one. We are going to examine the effect of negative third party influences on a marriage. We will be examining the influences of negative friends and in-laws. Proverbs 13:20 - Companionship with fools will make us foolish, but association with wise men will make us wise. Christians realize that our associations, especially our closest companions, will have a major influence on the kind of life we lead. Evil companions corrupt our morals (1 Corinthians 15:33). When you marry, you inherit your companions friends. If you marry a person who has a habit of choosing bad companions or running with a bad crowd, those people will become your companions too. If you marry a person who shows a pattern of wise choice of friends, then both of you will be able to associate with godly, moral people. Are divorced friends bad for your marriage? They could be! New research by Vision Critical shows that men can be talked into divorce by their friends. In fact, nearly one in four divorced men say they were influenced by a friend who was already separated. This is not to castigate divorce individuals; depending on the nature and circumstances that led to the divorce, such divorce friends can actually be powerful influences in helping to shield us from falling into the same mistakes they made. So at the end of the day, it boils down to individuals. When it comes to marriage, the scripture according to Matthew 19:5-6 clearly defines it. Marriage is the union between the husband and the wife, with the almighty God being the connector. Despite this known fact, the influence of in-laws can make or mar a marriage. From a mans point of view, gaining a new family (new father and mother) is a thing to look forward to. According to a study carried out by Orbuch, men are less likely to worry that their in-laws are interfering in their relationship. Men tend to identify as a provider first and a father and husband second, so they dont find their in-laws input particularly threatening. Generally, the closer a husband or wife is to his/her spouses parents, the more reinforcing it is. For instance, when a husband gets close to his wifes parents, it says this to her: Your family is important to me because I care about you. I want to feel closer to them because it makes me feel closer to you. And of course, that makes a woman feel really good. However, closeness with in-laws may also bring about a negative third party influence/ effect. God meant for us to depend on each other, to become one with our spouse and during times of trouble to reach out and depend on God. When discussing turmoil in your marriage with third parties, this brings others into your relationship and allows their influence in your decision-making and brings their influence into your marital relationship. It is very important for married couples to be cautious about discussing their marital issues with third parties (especially in-laws) who may out of bias mislead them. The Bible also explains that in a multitude of counsel, there is wisdom. So there can be wisdom, in seeking counsel from those who have experience and have gone before you. A marital couple can seek insight from in-laws who they feel led to talk to about specific issues and challenges. Triggers of third party in-law influence in marriage: - Being tied to ones mothers apron string: this means man or woman cannot independently take decisions or act unless they involve their parents. - Constant or prolonged parents presence at their married childrens homes. - Lack of prayer: couples need to pray, pray, and pray. Prayers of agreement reinforces the bond between a man and a woman as the dependence is solely on the Almighty God, and not man. Amos 3:3 is a very important scripture for this. - Fear: it is scriptural to honor ones father and mother, but that does not prevent one from letting them know when they become overly interfering in ones marital affairs. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder......Mat. 19:6. Will your companions friends and in-laws be the kind of people you will want to be visiting with frequently, especially after you have children? Does the person you are considering marrying make wise choice of his/her closest friends? And how will your spouse react to your family and friends? Discuss these matters carefully before marriage and after marriage. Determine to marry a person only if he/she shows a commitment to good relationships and good influences. After marriage, continue to study Gods word together and reevaluate the influence your family and friends have on you, on your marriage, and on your children.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Jan 2014 21:43:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015