Insert #13 Outside at Hospital, its aoround 21:00 Snalo just rushes of the car, I watch her go and see which entrance she takes. Me: Siya uyangena or yaphuma. Him: I just got here fethu, but oko ndixoxa phakathi so i decided to catch some air a bit. Me: Xoxa nton, why are you here khona. Cinge utesta ngobusuku? Him: You dont know? Me: why would I ask ndisazi fondin (looking more confused) Siya looks at the hospital entrance, shakes his head and say khawungene pha. I rose my eyebrose, ndamjonga, he was just down. Looked at the entrance, back at him ndahamba. As I walk inside, I see Snalo holding on to uMama ka Sethu.They both been crying. They see me and slowly let go off one another. Me: Molo Ma Her: Thando This woman used to love me ke, but andaz ndamenzan nin. she and my mum are friends. Me: kunjani kodwa Ma She takes out 3 empty tablet containerz and ask do you know what these are? Me: Ewe Ma, zi box ze pilisi Her: They were full an hour ago, before umntwana wam azolaliswa kwi coma apha... ... Ndothuke, my forehead just sweats, head itches... I start panicking... Hay mama what are you telling me.... Her: Uva nton wena Thando mntwanam... I keep quiet... The doctor comes..... Hello again Mrs Mzamane Her: What news do you have for me Doctor.... Do: Your daughter is progressing but, hasnt woken up yet, nothing has been stabilized. We are still tryng to clean off her system and there after more test we are going to have to run... We going to need you to be strong and petient, as for us we are doing everything in our power to bring her to her normal state... Her: Thank you Doctor Him: You are welcome mam She looks at me and ask, you still wanna know what is going on and why are we here.... I look down, and get a bit emotional, then say hay ndivile Ma.... Her: Sethu left home happy esithi she was going to your house, and she came back crying locked herself in her room... We had to break the door to get to her... Do you have anything you want to tell me mntanam? I look up, a bit confused.. Look at Snalo, she has her hands on her mouth, tears on her face and uyafixiza.. I look at the entrance Siya is making his way in..... We star at one another and i brush my head with my hand backwards, to him that means go back outside and he did..... Sethus mum puts her hand in her purse, i look back at her and she takes out a note, hands it over to me and ask me to read it out loud. I take the note and it reads as follows. Ive neva written a suicidal note before, and iv nva seen one so i dnt knw the format, please dont judge..(before i read futher my mind was stuck on the words please dnt judge, that is Sethus motto).... Growing up mna no mama weve been moving up and down and to whatever place we tried to settle in I couldnt ever blend in, I felt unwanted, unappreciated and worthless. But back then i didnt mind because I didnt care. Then we moved to Glenwood, and I met Thando, Snalo and Siya.. The only true friends Iv ever had, i regarded them as family... Finally now i had new siblings after the accident that claimed the life of my father, 3 brothers and my older sister........(now i can feel tears going down my face, my voice is shaking, Snalo asks to be excused but umaka Snalo uth akhomntu uya ndawo till i finish reading.. So i continue)....... These guys warmly welcomed me in their live, we were all part of each other and had each others backs... They made me comfortable enough to be myself... But then no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect either, through our friendship we have always had ups and downs but we manage to pull through.... I made mistakes in life that made me wanna distance from the gang coz i felt lesser than them, not because they intentionally made me feel as such but how i judged myself as compared to them...... Their lives seemed perfect to me and I got jelous and wanted to be better.... I started turning against them.. Earliar today we had a huge fight and i brought another side iv never known from each of them.... I felt bad but my pride got the best of me.. This that i decided to terminate my life to set my friends free and uncomplicate their lives.... As i read i keep pausing and feels as if Im running out of air, my heart stings.. Snalo still crying and even more heavier now but containing herself not to cause a scene... I look up, Snalos mum is also in tears... Ufunda kamnand mntanam she says... Me: Enkosi Ma..... Her: cela uthethe nam kwenzeke nton today Snalo looks at me, I look back... I can tell ufuna uthetha... So I give her the look and shake my head.. Sethus mum: Thando yayithanda lentlungu ndikuyo, dont you want to help a little with this missery? Me: I want to Ma but I cant, I mean akholula.. Sethu also has a say on this.... Siya walks in from behind me... Him: I know what is happening, I know the whole thing, and I know who is to blame for. I cut him off, Siya hay fondin. Not now, not here and not ngale ndlela. We all know ma but cela silinde presenc ka Sethu
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 08:23:48 +0000
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