Insert 26 after she walked out on me, I felt like a part of me just walked out too. Finding it hard to believe that she had had enough. Tears drowned my face, I wanted to keep calm I just could not. At a time I thought Alwaba was my all, my everything. Something that no life would be complete without. My heart started jerking feeling lost and shallow. I kneeled and cried my eyes out like a woman who just lost a child. I cried with no words coming out of my mouth. I was feeling pain I have never thought existed in my heart, sharp pains at the back of my head. She is gone, and gone for real this time..... What about my child? What about our dreams, we had dreams of living a fairytale together making sure that we were together forever. I failed even to stand up as my head was becoming heavier, and struggling to breath I crawled to my couch which was close to my fridge. I took out water I drank shakingly. After drinking water, on my mind Take your gun and get it over and done with I kept quiet trying so hard to shut down the feeling of killing myself. Mesuli was still a baby, he needs his parents. What about the two on the way Khile? Please do not do such foolishness Khile. My door swung open I looked up red eyed, it was my father. I looked at him as soon as his eyes met mine I looked away and settled my eyes on the floor. Dad: Luckey are you okay? I wiped my tears with my shirt and nodded Dad: He sat on the table infront of me then he held me Dad: It is okay to cry man it is okay It was like he beat me up or something, but I started crying out loud now, my head on his shoulder, burrying my face on his shirt he gave me pat on the back Dad: Khala mfana khala And I cried and cried until I had enough of crying, he wiped my tears and looked at me Dad: Want to talk about it? Me: I took a deep breath and sighed I am Sick Dad: Do you need to see a Doctor? Me: Dad I am HIV positive I have made two girls pregnant Dad: Man! It is not the end of the world Me: She left me, she walked out on me, she is also carrying my child Dad: Who? Me: Alwaba Dad: Give her time, maybe she is still in shock, give her time if she was meant for you she will come back to you and you wont believe it Dad: When did you find out? Me: This morning Dad: You are strong, look you even had the courage to tell her I nodded and sighed Dad: How is the young lad Meesuri? Me: He is good and around Dad: The limping? Me: a little but, he does not complain about legs, just headaches and backaches Dad: Yes he will have those, he hit his head when he fell during the accident I kept quiet had no answer. Dad: Look I want us to go away for the weekend Me: Which weekend? Dad: Christmas weekend, I think its next week right? Me: yes, where to? Dad: To KZN to visit my family, I had not seen them in more than 16 years Me: Will they accept you? You have lost isizulu Dad: Niyakhowna uhuluma I laughed a little Dad: Atleast I made you laugh. We are going to make peace and traditionaly introduce you to the ancestors Me: I thought you dont believe in those things Dad: Well I am African nomatter what. You are also an African, and I dont want you to forget that I nodded somehow he made me focus on something else that crying my eyes out. After our chat he left. I could not even walk him to the gate, I felt weak, I dropped my whole body on my bed and tried to close my eyes when my phone rang.. It was Alwa to my suprise I sat up Me: Lwa? Alwa: hearing she was crying Khile I am sorry for walking out on you Me: It is okay I understand Alwa: I am not that kind of person who runs away when things are like this. I love you and I will stand by you nomatter what. Only if you promise to change and stop yonke into Me: For you I will do anything Alwaba, I love you. You the only girl I want a woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please forgive me andisoze ndiphinde Alwaba Alwa: Alakhile zange ndenza lento nakweyiphi ndoda. Andiyithandi ndlela endi weak ngayo when it comes to you. But andilusoli mna uthando. My friends ziphele zindishiya cause andifuni umamela mntu ngawe. I called utata and told him about my pregnancy, benomsindo but ndalila and wacela uxolo Me: Ndingaza uzok bona? Alwa: Now is not a good time, kufike abantu apha endlini. I will see you ngomso cause utata uthe uzandizisa kokwenu and all that Me: Okay, I cannot wait ukuba sikhulise umntwana wethu sobabini. Siyeke uxabana nayo yonke lonto Alwa: Ewe HIV can be managed it can be controled, xolo ngokuthi uyafa, awuzofa bendinomsindo qha Me: No akhongxaki I understand baby wam and nam andiphinde ndikwenze umsindo you carrying someone that is special to both of us. A binder and a true outcome ngothando lwethu olunxeke nxeke Alwa: laughs Uyayazi andiyivanga line yakho yokuqibela right! Me: I laugh Our love is bruised but lonto ayithethi ukuthi alunophola I love you
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 10:14:06 +0000
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