Insert 38 Love happens in the blink of an eye. One moment your heart is yours and the next it belongs to someone else you never intended to give to. There is no transition. No earning on his part. Just foolish trust and hope for a future of happiness and emotional fulfillment. As much as we hope for a happily ever after, life my loves doesnt work that way. I got inside my car and drove home! What a hectic weekend. I was not going to stress about uSanzis mom and Mondli acting all weird on me. Was this woman stalking me or was is just a coincidence that we were both here? It didnt matter though, I would let her think whatever she wanted to think. If she thought I was a busy girl with ooMondli, so be it, I was not going to run after her and explain myself. If she wanted to know she would ask. On the other hand there was Sanzi and his secret he was harbouring. Eishh... This was one stressful situation I did not need. If he didnt want to talk to me, confide in me then so be it. I was not going to pry about secrets that he kept from me. I told him everything about me, he even knew my darkest deepest fears. No I was not going to pry or ask or inquire. In his time he would tell me. And he would tell me everything. I got home and had my meal. I had a Kem CD playing in the background. Mna ke with Kem oooohhh baby we are like husband and wife from another lifetime. The brother can sing vha. His voice is as smooth as hot chocolate. And I am positive he wrote every song with me on his mind (His wife from another lifetime)......nindiyeke ndiziphuphele please bethunana. Ndiyamthanda uKem.( if awumazi plz google or YouTube him plz). So this song I cant stop loving you was playing. It got me thinking as these words from this song were flowing into me. I love Sanzi with all my heart. I couldnt see myself being with anyone else. I wanted to have a future with him. I thought about good times we had together and the stupid arguments we would have. I could never stop loving this man. He was the father to my child and no matter how hard I tried I couldnt hate him. So I would give him time. Time to gather up his wits and tell me about whatever secret he was keeping from me. I was not sure of how I would handle it, but I knew that whatever it was I had to learn to accept it and move on. I didnt want to have to live without him. But I was going to make sure he knew that I wasnt impressed about him keeping things from me.When I finished eating I cleared up and went to lie down. When I woke up it was dark and it was raining outside. I looked at the time and I must have been asleep for about five hours. My phone started to vibrate as Sanzi was calling. My Queen. Sanzi I miss you terribly. I was hoping to see you tonight. But I dont want you driving at this time and in this bad weather. *silence* I miss you so much Ill come and see you tomorrow before I go to work I could hear him breathing on the other line as the silence stretched on. I Cant sleep because I miss you... I miss your body lying next to me and watching you sleep, I miss making love to you and hearing you scream my name, I dont know what you are doing to me but I miss you my love. Marry me please and lets get this out of the way so that we can look forward to our future. What is the rush Sanzi? You and my baby are all that matter to me. You are all thats important to me. Are we? How can you even ask me that? Im not sure anymore. . Please dont say that Is there something you want to tell me Sanzi?*silence* You see what I mean when I say its too soon for us to tie the knot? You cant even trust me to know things about you. I love you Sanzi but I cant be with someone who doesnt trust me. Its my haunting past my Queen. It has nothing to do with our relationship. Please dont put it between us. So am I not important to know about it? You are important my love. But its not important. he clearly doesnt want me to know. Ok. Whatever it is I am so he wont tell me anything. But I know that secrets have a way of coming out. I will let it go, for now. The following week was hectic, infact very hectic. On Monday morning I started at the hospital to visit Sanzi. He was sleeping peacefully and I didnt want to disturb him. So I left a note saying I would see him later. When I got to the office my supervisor summoned me to his office. My dad had requested a transfer for me to the P.E main office. I had forgotten about the note he left me. I thought that since he found out about Sanzi he would let me stay. I told my supervisor that the transfer was unnecessary and I would speak to my dad about it. When I got to my desk I called my dad. And true to his word he told me that I was moving back to P.E. Sanzi would do the right thing and ask for my hand in marriage. Then and only then would he allow his daughter to be with him. I couldnt believe utata. In the meantime I had to hand over my clients. Then start packing up any belongings I would need in P.E. The rest of the house furniture and leftover clothes would follow. I would start in P.E the next week. After that call I went to see my superior again and had to sign some papers. Then made some phone calls to my clients. After which I cleared my desk and left for home to start packing. I knew there was a better solution to all of this. I just didnt know what it was. I had a baby to think of now, so it was not just me anymore. I needed to think and think fast.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 19:03:48 +0000