Insert 81 Pha ezinzulwini zobusuku ndava ngoSihle exhuma ephuma ebhedini ndamva ukuba uyanxiba then kwathuleka, intliziyo yam yayibethela phezulu ndisoyika nokujonga uba kwenzekani. Ndazova ebamba ibhedi yavele yangcangcazela caba wayesoyika or something. Him: (whispering) yhini Bawo ndiyakucela ungandithathi, oh andikwazi nothandaza kodwa please yolule imihla yam ndingamshiya nabani unkosikazi wam emncinci kangaka Thixo. Oh Bawo ndiyaziva ndiyohluleka (yabe ingcangcazela kakhulu kengoku ibhedi, zaphuma kum inyembezi) ndiqinise msindisi, ndomeleze Bawo. Awukwazi ukundithatha ngoku please its too soon. (He took a deep breath) Andivumi hayi andivumi. Ndava ibhedi igungqa ogqiba wakhala kanobomi, I couldnt help myself but cry, ndakhala kakhulu wabe naye engayekanga. Ndaguquka xa ndimjonga uqubudile uyagixa, I got up and wore my robe ndajikela kwelacala lakhe ndambamba. Him: Iyandibulala Sthandwa sam lentloko.(He said that shaking) I couldnt say a word, I just held him tight ndalila kakhulu. Him: Ndicela amanzi. Me: Okay. I got up ndaya ekitchen ndabuya namanzi ndafika enabe phantsi ephethe ipilisi nam ndaguqa ecakwakhe. Ndamnika wasela his eyes were blood red. Me: You have to be okay, just for me please. I cannot live without you. Ndiyakucela unganikezeli, please Sihle andinokwazi tuu ukuku loosa. He cried, I hugged him. Him: Ndicela undithandazele. I broke the hug ndambeka isandla and prayed. Bawo onamandla onke andinalo elinye ithemba ngaphandle kwakho. Nguwe ophayo ikwanguwe othabathayo kodwa Bawo ukuba kuzakwenzeka ngalendlela ndibona ngayo awundiphanga uSihle, ingaba umexuthe ndingekamfumani- He held my hand wasiqinisa kanobom ndingekagqibi Me: Sihle uyandilimaza. Him: Ndicela ubize umama.(Watsho ewaqinisile amazinyo ede wavela imithambo entloko) I got up ndabaleka ndaphuma ndibhekise eroomini yabazali bakhe kwavele kwatsho lapain emqolo kum ndayokuwa, I dont know what happened next but ndavuka esibhedlele utata noMabhayi bendingxangile. Me: Tata. Him: Hey sisi uvukile? Me: Ewe uphi uSihle? Him: Ukwalapha esibhedlele sisi uzakumbona. Me: No, I want to see him now. Dad: Please Zipho maan calm down. Me: I want to see my husband. Him: Okay. Waphuma wabuya nenurse bandifaka kwiwheelchair, imilenze yam yayingathi inenaliti. Wandiqhuba utata wandisa eICU kuSihle safika bonke benamehlo abomvu belila oSokopo. Mrs S: Uvukile sisi? Me: Ewe mama, unjani? Her: Hes stable. Ndasondeza iwheelchair kwibed yakhe wabhekela uSnesipho, I held his hand wabe efakwe idrip. My heart sank, he looked so helpless, I found myself crying. Sipho: Kusuke kwathini Sihle benilele niright nje?(USipho wayendibiza Sihle ke) Me: (sniffing) USihle uvuke ebusuku wathandaza ecela uThixo ukuba angamthathi (I broke down ndalila) Mrs S: Sukhala kaloku sisi uzakumkhathaza naye. Me: (I wiped my tears) uye walila ke ndavuka wathi ucela amanzi ndayomkhelela then wacela ndimthandazele, ndithe ndisathandaza wandiqinisa isandla wathi mandiyobiza umama. So ndaphuma ndibaleka eroomini ndava ipain esinqeni ndayowa. Dad: (sniffing) this is too much, why is God allowing this to happen? Sne broke down in tears wabanjwa nguSipho baphuma, ndalalisa intloko yam ebhedini kaSihle ndavala amehlo ndatsho isilent prayer. I felt like the more I pray is the more izinto zibaworse but ndiqonda ukuba enye ioption andinayo ndizokuthandaza qha ngoba yiyo yodwa into endiyaziyo. Caba ndaphuma inyembezi kokokucimela, ndava ngotata kaSihle ethetha. Mr S: Siphesihle sukhala sisi maan please. Me: (ndothuka ndazosula inyembezi) Okay tata bathini ogqirha? Him: Abayazi kodwa basayiqwalasela lento. Me: Oh! Him: Siniphe ispace? Me: Yes please tata. Him: Okay. Baphuma nyani belandelelana. I kissed my babys hand who was lying in bed helplessly. Me: Myeni wam, ndiyakukhumbula mna please vuka. Ndikhumbula ubuhlanya bakho sthandwa sam, uyakhumbula uthanda undiculela langoma kaDJ Bongs? Ungenayo enye mntakabawo ndingakwazi noba uyivephi lol. Vuka baby please siphinde sonwabe, I promise you nam ndizokuculela noba ndiyilozile, Ill sing for you everyday. Cwaka uSihle. Me: Baby, if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand. Nothing. Me: Baby please, show me a sign. Cwaka. I slowly got up and kissed his cheek ndajika iwheelchair yam ndayophuma emnyango, babe otata behleli kwibench. Mr S: You done? Me: Ewe tata Him: Okay, sizakudlula pha kuwe ewardini xa sihamba. Me: Enkosi tata. Wandiqhuba uMabhayi sayongena kweyam iward bandikhwelisa ebhedini. Dad: Kuzolunga nontombi, pain doesnt last forever. Me: Thank you. Him: Please, hang in there. Me: Am trying. Mabhayi: Ayikho into engadluliyo sisi, nale izakudlula futhi ke udlula kwayo uzoshiyeka umenyezela. Uyayazi neGolide iqala emlilweni then iphume intle iyilanto iyiyo. Me: Kutheni mna ndidlula kaninzi emlilweni Mabhayi? I thought loosing my mother was enough. Mabhayi: Themba uThixo. Me: Okay Dad: Ndibafownele otatomkhulu bakho ndabaxelela ulapha, bathe ke bazakufika ngomso. Me: Enkosi tata. Kwazongena oSokopo belandelelana. Mrs S: Kuthiwa ivisiting hours ziphelile, sizobuya late. Me: Okay mama. They all kissed me baphuma kwashiyeka uSne. Her: (efixiza) Chomi yam yintoni le nindenzela yona noSihle? Kutheni nje ningade nibe right? Me: Sizobaright chomi. Her: Please man Kwazongena inurse yacela uSne ahambe, she hugged me wahamba. Kwatyiwa ndaseliswa ipilisi ndayoba. Ndazovuka late otata bekhona saphinda sayobona uSihle kwakungekabikho tshintsho sabuya, laphela ixesha bahamba otata. Zahamba intsuku ndakhutshwa mna esibhedlele, bafika otamkhulu baphinda bahamba. Ndandihlala esibhedlele kuSihle imini yonke xa kuphela ivisiting hours ndizulise phandle ndiphinde ndibuye then ndigoduke late. Wayengathembisi tuu oko wayethe cwaka ndikhala everyday sendide ndaphatsha kwalapha ebusweni ndibhitye nasesiqwini. Futhi ke ndandiba namaxesha ukunikezela ndiqonde ukuba mandimkhulule umntwana wabantu but kungavumi tuu. I went to his ward ngexesha levisitors ndambamba isandla. Me: Ndinethemba lokuba njemba ulele apha one day uzovuka uphinde uphile ubengula Sihle ndimaziyo ungabikwa hlaba. Baby life have its ups and downs, kufuneka siqine singayekeli umtyholi asoyise. Vuka please baby ndiyakucela, Sihle ndicela uvuke tana. I cried wabe uSihle ethe cwaka kukhala imachines, ndakhala kabuhlungu ndade ndaguqa phantsi kwazofika uSipho caba wayeyombona wandibamba waphuma nam. Him: Sihle hayi maan please. Me: Sipho uSihle akathembisi tuu, kwakunini epha? Him: Uzovuka myeke please. Me: Tjo. Ndazixhuthuluza ndahamba. I called my dad ukuba azondilanda weza nyani wandisa kulo Sihle ndafika ndalala. Zaqhubeleka intsuku sendi decide uyeka uyombona uSihle, ndithi xa ndibuzwa ukuba andiyi na ndithi ndizakuya. Yafika ibirthday yam ndazovuswa nguSnesipho ngeChocolate cake. Sne: happy birthday to you(singing) Me: Hey, thanks. Her: Vuka am taking you out. Me: Lol hayi maan chomi am not in the mood. Her: Vuka please siye eSpur ndizokuthengela iribs. Me: Lol okay. I woke up ndahlamba ndanxiba, ndaphuma ndaya elounge everyone was there ngaphandle komyeni wam. They sang happy birthday to you I faked a smile ndabulela. I missed Sihle so bad. Sahamba noSne ngemotor katata saya eSpur safika kukho uOyi she hugged me, wandithengela iribs satya kungangeni ncam nokokutya. Kwazongena a young couple holding hands bahlala phantsi, I gazed at them Sne: Zipho! Me: Mhm! Her: Ujonge ntoni? Me: Nothing, ndicela undise emyenini wam. Her: Are you sure? Me: Yes. Wabhatala sahamba saya eSt Marys safika uSihle eseyilanto ndandiyishiyile. Me: Ndicela uhlala naye alone. Sne: Okay well wait outside. Me: Okay. Waphuma nyani. Me: Hey babe, its my birthday today. Cwaka. Me: Baby noba kwenzeke ntoni kuwe kokukulala apha ndicela uhlale uyazi into yoba ndiyakuthanda, I love you so much that I cant do anything without you. Ubomi bam bumile, ndisebumnyameni ngaphandle kwakho. Please come back to me. Cwaka!! I decided to sing for him. I love you. I love you. I love you Baby I love you You are my life My happiest moments werent complete If you werent by my side Youre my relation In connection to the sun With you next to me Theres no darkness I cant overcome You are my raindrops I am a seed With you and God, whos my sunlight I bloom and grow so beautifully Baby, Im so proud So proud to be your girl You make the confusion Go all away From this cold and mixed up world I am in love with you You set me free I cant do this thing Called life without you here with me Cause Im dangerously in love with you Ill never leave Just keep lovin me The way I love you loving me Cause I am in love with you You set me free I cant do this thing Called life without you here with me And I know you love me Love me for who I am Cause years before I became who I am Baby you were my man I know it aint easy Easy loving me I appreciate the love and dedication From you to me Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child I see myself being your wife And I see my whole future in your eyes Thought of all my love for you Sometimes make me wanna cry Realize all my blessings Im grateful to have you by my side I am in love with you You set me free I cant do this thing Called life without you here with me Cause Im dangerously in love with you Ill never leave Just keep lovin me The way I love you loving me Ill never leave Every time I see your face My heart smiles Every time it feels so good It hurts sometimes Created in this world To love To hold To feel To breathe To live you Dangerously in love I cant do this thing I love you, I love you, I love you Ill never leave Just keep loving me Im in love with you I cannot do I cannot do anything without you in my life Holding me, kissing me, loving me Dangerously I love you Dangerously in love with you I love you Ohh I love you I love love love love love you I love you Oh I love you I love love love love love you I love you I love you I love you Dangerously in love BEYONCE _ dangerously in love. I cried ugqiba kwam. Please, dont do this to yourself That was Snesipho. Me: I miss him so bad. Sne: Masihambe Me: Ndiyakuthanda Sihle(I said that looking at him) I held his hand and kissed it, ndamqwalasela, wayesekhulelwa nayintshebe. I kissed his cheek sahamba noSne wayobeka uOyi kuqala. We got home safika kuncokolwa, sabulisa. Dad: Did you enjoy yourself? Me: Ewe tata. Mrs S: Awutyi Zipho Me: Ndiyatya mama. Her: Uyazibona wehlile. Mr S: Yeka umntwana. My fown rang, I didnt recognise the number. Me: Hellow! Caller: Good day maam, can I please speak to Mrs Sokopo. Eh yakhe yalocka kancinci ingqondo yam, umama kaSihle utheni wafunwa efownin yam. Ndamjonga. Caller: Hellow!? Me: Hey, whos this? Caller: Am sister Tutu, am calling from St Marys hospital, I believe Mr Sokopo is your husband. Me: (I quickly got up) Yes. Her: Can you please come to the hospital urgently? Me: Okay. Ndaphuma emnyango ndabaleka ndaleqwa nguSipho, yemaan ingqondo yam yeyiseyicuthekile. Sipho: Hey, balekani? Me: Ndifownelwe esibhedlele bathi mandifike pha ngokukhawuleza. Wabe wonke umntu sele ephandle, kwangenwa ezimotweni saqhuqha uyofika esibhedlele ingathi iyacotha. Ndehlika ndasiqwela uyotshona ewardini kaSihle ndafika ethetha noDoctor yho ndaziphosa kuye ndilila kwazo ngena ifamily yonke, ndambamba ndamqinisa he coughed. Doc: Hey, easy. Me: Xolo baby, uvukile? He smiled and nodded, yangathi ndiqalwa yimpambano madoda ndandingavuyi maan. Kwathi kuthandazwa ndabe sendingqengqe ecako baby endigonile.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 22:43:11 +0000
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