Insert 98 I left the visitors area and I went back to my cell. I jumped into my bed, the idea of Bonga hiring a detective didnt really sit well with me, it actually saddened me, it brought me back to the times where I begged the Lord to intervene in my situation, and reminded me of the disappointment and humiliation that I carried on my shoulders over the years, I felt like this will somehow dig up my past which I had managed to bury. I didnt want to be reminded of the reason Im here, how my baby Li was conceived or my status for that matter, I didnt. I closed my eyes, the moment I thought of Andile anger and hatred flooded my body, I was angry at myself for loving him and also I was angry at him for using and abusing me the way he did. Akhona: Mama! Mama! Haybo mama wakhala, uright. I didnt realised that I was crying until Akhona interrupted me. Me: Akhona, ndiright sisi, I just need to be left alone right now. Akhona: oh xolo, uberight ke torho Mama. She jumped back to her bed worried. As I wiped the tears of my eyes I wondered whether the pain will ever go away? Am I going to hurt everytime I think of my him. I felt like though he was no more, he still had a huge hold on me. I fell asleep that day with a heartache, The following morning I didnt feel like getting out of my bed. I dragged myself to the canteen and in days like these I thought of how please Paris would have be for my breakfast. I smiled. Linda: haybo mama wancuma wedwa. Me: ndicinga indlela uParis ebevuya ngayo xa ndimpha ukutya kwam. She laughed and said. Linda: oh betuna ebesithanda ke isusu sakhe lowo, yena ebenganayo lanto yongatyi segula, sephethwe sisisu uMapariza sana ebeyibetha ayivale iplate yakhe. Akhona: lonto shem uyakhumbuleka yazi, I wonder wenza ntoni shem. Me: ukhumbuleka nyani yazi. After we had breakfast, SiS Bandile walked in followed by Mthimkhulu (the detective) who was talking on his cellphone. Mthimkhulu: gawuyeke ukuba sisilerhe Nyathi kwedini, ulwimi lenkobe lumnandi kubafazi hayi emadodeni kwedini. I looked at himas he was talking on him cellphone coming towards our table. The stood in our table and we all looked at his while he was on his phone. Mthimkhulu: Nyathi usebenza njani nalantwana uJola umazi ukuba sisinyola? Makwedini anisaboni ukuba likhona inyawo lemfene kula case, lantwana isithele ngesibalenkawu mani anisayiboni lonto, Yer Nyathi bendikuthembile kwedini, kanti nawe usisinyola kangaka, nxin axam ababini badityaniswa njani mani bezophaxulana nje yer makwedini indenza umsindo ihlela enidom ngayo mani. He hung up and looked at Sis Bandile. Bandile: na, na, nanku uMamu Kulati. Mthimkhulu: Nkosazana! Mthimkulu ifani, Mpinga isduko, kodwa kemna andinanto yomtwana. He stood in front of him with both of his hand in his pocket, I felt a bit intimidated by him and I notice that Bandile was also tense. Me: er Im Azola Kulati. Mthimkhulu: izolo bendikhe ndadibana nalentwana yakho ndamxelela ukuba kuyanyanzeleka ndidibane nawe. While his was talking his phone rang. Mthimkhulu: hello. Mfazi andisonguqhirha mna, umntu xa egula makaye kwaqhirha tyhini waske wafowunelana nam apha. Iyakwaqhirha Nolusapho undiyekemna ndisebenze. Tsi akhonto ingumfazi mani. He dropped his phone. Mthimkhulu: kanene ukuse izinto zilunge funeka owam unomyayi abe uyacinywa. He switched off his phone and we sat in an unoccupied table. I told him everything that had happened in my marriage until the day of Andiles death, I was soaking in tears. I knew this wouldnt just opened up the wounds. Mthimkhulu: hee madoda, izibulele ngokwayo mos lembava. He got up from the chair and stood with both hands in his pocket. Mthumkhulu: lengqawa yasizibulala, ubomvu ke lomhlola uwubantintelayo. I wonder ngeziphi izidenge ezaziphichota lenyewe, nxan. He turned and went to Sis Bandile leaving me hanging and the next thing he walked out of the door. Sis Bandile come to the my table. Sis Bandile: Mama uright? Me: ewe Bandile, enkosi. Sis Bandile: are you sure ukuba uright? I nodded my head. Sis Bandile: ungandilandela ke. I got up and followed her to the hall. We cleaned the hall, did our afternoon prayer and we went back to our cells. About few hour in our cell Bandile came again to fetch me, she told me that I have a visitor. She opened up for me and let the way to the visiting section, I got there and to my surprise it was Paris. I jumped into her and hug her, we both had few tears in our eyes. Eventually we let go of each other and wiped our tears. I realised that hers were tears of joy. Me: how are you my Paris. Paris: Mama what can I say, I feel so humble by the goods unfolding, the Lord has been nothing but great to me, I dont even how to thank Him, Mama. As she was talking tears of joy went down her face. Paris: sometimes I asked the Lord, what have I gone to deserve such love. I was glad that Paris felt loved considering the fact that she never felt loved by her parents. She shrugged her shoulders in excitement and said smiling from ear to ear. Paris: remember I was preaching around in schools, so due to the hunger that people have for Jesus, I started a ministry. Me: really? ncoo Im so proud of you. Paris: and its funny how it all started hey, it started out as a prayer for the Matrics and the next thing it was House of Prayer was born. Me: wow Paris Im really happy for you and the way your life turned out. Paris: thanks to you Mama enough about me Mama, how are you. Paris was the only person that I trust enough to pour out my heart to, shes the only person who make sense, so I told her about how I felt about reopening of my case, as I was talking to her I become angry. Paris: Mama, to me, you sound like you havent really forgiven Andile for what he did, you need to be able to talk about what he did without getting hurt. Do not let your past be a stumbling block for you, the Lord want to do great things in your life, he wants to open new chapter in your life, unless you close Andiles and allow him to open a new one. His says in his Word forget the former things and do not dwell in the past for he is doing new things. As she was talking my heart sank and tears went down my face. Paris: you need to release him and let his soul rest in peace. I cried. Paris: remember it was the Lord has intended it all for good to accomplish His wi
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 14:16:57 +0000