Instead of my daily gratitude post: I just found out my friend B. is dying. The last time I saw him was about a week and a half ago. Apparently he was hospitalized shortly thereafter and is dying and his family requests no visitors. So I will never see him again. B. was there for me during the hardest fight of my life. He and I spent a lot of time together getting to know one another. I remember one night we were in a meeting and a drunk, irate woman showed up and said she needed help. She and B. and I retired to a private place so we could try to sort out what the trouble was. She was rude and aggressive and after a while left. But I couldnt believe how much care and TLC that my friend B. had to give, and how much he showed her. Youd think she was the most important thing on earth and in that moment, of course, she was and should be. On the outside B. was so gruff but I can tell you he was a tenderhearted, loving man. I took the time to get to know him and I know it. I told B. I loved him now and then, which made him wince because he said he couldnt really say the L word. But I knew that what mattered is I say it. I hugged him now and then but mostly I just told him with every bit of presence and happiness that it was good to see him. These last few months every time we saw one another wed sit by one another and wed always say, Its good to see you. But I had no idea he was going to go. He seemed perfectly healthy last time I saw him. I hope that in some way I have been with him while hes suffered - in the years we knew one another, but I mean specifically in this last week and a half. He is in my heart now and while theres no way to prove this means anything to him or ever did, it sure means a lot to me.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 20:57:39 +0000