Instead of wishing we could be the perfect parent right now, it’s much healthier to settle in to the long haul journey of coming to peace with ourselves as parents, coming to peace with the shortcomings of our own childhood, which may in itself mean coming to peace with how hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, angry or outraged we feel about the wounds and unmet needs that relate back to childhood, because repressed emotions need to surface before they can be resolved. Parenting is a journey of personal growth whether we choose it or not, it’s kind of forced upon us, especially for the parents who commit to not just passing on to their children the shaming, repression, blaming, rejection and mistreatment that they themselves experienced. As soon as a parent makes a commitment to not shame or yell at their child, but to instead be more mindful and responsible with their emotions (hence modelling the same), they are immediately faced with the burning question of “but what do I do with all this frustration and anger?“, which leads a parent onto the inevitable journey of self-healing and increased self-awareness. But when we can allow and embrace that reality, evolution, magic and healing occur. We begin to break generations of unhealthy patterns while embracing generations of positive patterns and bring it all together in a beautiful unique package that enhances our family’s uniqueness. When we can accept that the journey is a long one, every step along the way can bring it’s challenges and it’s victories. When we increase our value of the journey itself, not just the big successes, but the self-appreciation of being on a path of increased self-awareness, with its many ups and downs, then every step can potentially become a celebration in itself. We’re all allowed to still have a list of issues the length of our arm that we want to work through, in fact the more aware and conscious we become on the path towards peace, the more the layers of denial and pretending to be the perfect happy family lift and the sheer reality sets in of all the healing that’s needed. This can be daunting, but sobering. The goal is not to become the perfect harmonious family as fast as possible, (as much as that would be nice), but to be a parent who can love and accept yourself as the person you are, which makes it easier to accept your child as the person they are and the family you are; the good, the bad and the ugly. Every challenge is easier to tackle when there’s an acceptance that it is how it is right now and accept all the related feelings. Life is a journey of learning and growth and we constantly learn and deepen through our challenges. ~ Genevieve
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 02:56:39 +0000