International Day of Older Persons: Yesterday, i.e. 1st of October, was International Day of Older Persons. It is observed on October 1 each year. On December 14, 1990, the United Nations General Assembly voted to establish October 1 as the International Day of Older Persons. This was preceded by initiatives such as the Vienna International Plan of Action on Ageing - which was adopted by the 1982 World Assembly on Ageing - and endorsed later that year by the UN General Assembly. The day is celebrated by raising awareness about issues affecting the elderly. It is also a day to appreciate the contributions that older people make to society. In 2002, the Second World Assembly on Ageing adopted the Madrid International Plan of Action on Ageing, to respond to the opportunities and challenges of population ageing in the 21st century and to promote the development of a society for all ages. The theme of the 2013 commemoration, “The future we want: what older persons are saying” has been chosen to draw attention to the efforts of older persons, civil society organizations, United Nations organizations and Member States to place the issue of ageing on the international development agenda. As to the theme of the 2013 commemoration, I observe that the theme leads us to think about the future which we want in the light of what older persons are saying. In terms of the theme, we have to pay attention to the efforts of older persons, civil society organizations etc. to place the issue of ageing on the international development agenda. The central point is thus we have to link the issue of ageing with development agenda. In order to move forward on the agenda, let’s make assessment of what we have done, what we are doing and what more we have to do for the elderly people. First of all, we should realize that we have done, what we are doing and what more have we to do for the elderly people was, is and will be the return of what the elderly people have done for us. We should realize that we can’t repay the debt which we owe to the elderly persons because what they have done for us can’t be assessed. Therefore, the first priority of our lives should be to try to first repay the debt to them to the maximum level. Only thereafter should we think about our comfort or for our future. In old age, people generally behave like a child. In old age, they become very reactive. They lose reasoning. Because of failing health, several complexes generate in them. In this age, the people are not ready to understand our problems, our limitations. If we don’t fulfill their wishes, they feel ignored. Therefore, we have to keep patience and handle them in the same manner as we handle children. We have to care them in the same manner as we care our children. I had experience of it. I am the only son of my parents. They are now no more. I am in the service since 1980. I got married in 1981. When I got married, I wanted to keep my family members along with me. But my parents, especially my father did not want to leave village. In order to care them, therefore, I had to leave my wife at village. For me, my parents were all. I felt that nothing in this world was so valuable as my parents. I was ready to sacrifice everything for them. In fact, I hesitated to marry because of my apprehension that I would not pay so much attention to them after marriage. However, because of insistence of my mother and my virtual guardian, late Shri Ram Lakhan Kunwar, I had to marry. Late Shri Ram Lakhan Kunwar who belonged to my fraternity was a principal of an intermediate college and had tremendous influence over Chandra Shekhar, the late prime minister. On marriage, however, I found myself very lucky. The family of my wife had three older persons and my wife had excelled all other girls of her family in caring those three older persons. It was found later on that my wife had inbuilt caring nature. This is visible in her even today. So I had a wife of dream. It was when late Shri Ram Lakhan Kunwar felt that my son would need schooling shortly that he convinced my mother to go to Ghaziabad where I was posted in 1987. In turn, my father also became convinced. When my parents became ready to come to Ghaziabad, I brought them in 1987 i.e after 6 years of my marriage. In 1989, my father became very ill so much so that he remained in Narinder Mohan Hospital for about one month. As a child refuses to take medicine so he also used to do. Therefore, medicine had to be given forcefully. My relatives used to naturally hesitate to treat him like a child and hence usually they could not succeed in giving him medicine. I had, however, always treated him like a child. He very well knew the force of my love to him. Therefore, he had never taken my harsh words or anger seriously. So when I showed him “Gussa”, he used to smile. My “Gussa” used to be artificial and he knew it very much. So when my relatives used to report that he was not taking medicine, I used to show artificial “Gussa” in order to force him to take medicine. Once upon a time, he was not taking medicine. I had initially persuaded him but he refused. Then I had to adopt ostensibly tough posture. I had to say him very loudly: “Marna Chahte Hain, Gala Daba Doon?”. These words were, though, very harsh but, for him, they were meaningless. He very well knew that what I was doing was doing to force him to take medicine. Therefore, he had responded my “Gussa” with innocent smile and taken the medicine. The hospital staff was also very much impressed to see my affection towards my father. In 1995-96, I had rented a flat in E Block, Shatri Nagar, Ghaziabad. It was GDA flat. My father used to spend daytime outside the room on cot in the porch of the flat. We wanted to protect him from the cold because in 1989, he had suffered pneumonia. During the winter season, we used to place blower in his quilt to make it warm. Once, it was a biting cold. My family members were not allowing him to come out of the room. My wife had bolted the door from inside the room to prevent him from going out of the room. He was at that time too old to unbolt the door. He began to cry like a child. Even then he could not succeed. When he failed to get favour, he adopted another tactics to force my wife to unbolt the door and let him go outside. He wrapped “Gamchha”(a piece of cloth) around his neck and threatened my wife that if she would not unbolt the door, he would strangulate himself. Ultimately, my wife a kind hearted woman succumbed to his pressure and unbolted the door. Anyhow, she covered his head with warm cap, wrapped him in quilt and helped him to the cot outside the room. As all grandfathers do, my father too had great affection for my son. He would never allow me chide to my son. Once upon a time, I was very much angry at my little son so much so that he began to cry loudly. Seeing him crying, my father came to my room where he was crying. He thought that I had beaten my son and so he was crying. My father began to attack me verbally. The verbal attack was so intense as if he was going to beat me with the ‘Lathi’ which he was wielding in his hand. In my absence, he had also seen my wife showing “Gussa” at my son. Therefore, he was targeting both of us. He was speaking in Bhojpuri. His words in Bhojpuri were: “ Aaju Tak Tohara Ke Hum Sheenk Se Naikhin Chhuwale, Tohar Bewat Kaise Ho Gayil Humara Naati Ke Maare Ke”. Meaning in English: “I have never touched you with even a thin grass. Then, how have you dared to beat my grandson?” He was really angry at me. Seeing him so angry, my ‘Gussa’ at my son vanished. I smiled and I told my wife: ‘We have achieved the goal. This is our success. He still feels that he is boss and we both are under his thumb. He is right.’ These are the few instances which I have narrated above to stress the point that more than Roti, Kapada, Makan, Medicines or any other means of comfort, older people need love, affection, care and value in the family. They feel that more and more they grow older, the value in the family increases more and more. Therefore, they should not be ignored at any cost. If our older people feel ignored, there is no meaning of our material progress. There is no meaning of going to the moon if the older people are marginalized. Let’s, therefore, take this opportunity to pledge that we would strive hard to keep our older people hale and well-both physically as well as mentally and also. This can be done by keeping them always happy.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 05:30:46 +0000
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