It all started with perler beads. You know those beads. You place them ever so carefully on a plate with notches and then melt them together to make a shape. We have a ton of them! A sweet friend added to our collection this past week and sent 4 more bins so the girls could craft. So we have thousands and thousands of perler beads. Now, I guess I was not thinking when I assumed it was a good idea to let the 4 year old play with said perler beads. I mean, she doesnt put things in her mouth anymore and she is perfectly content. What could go wrong? I continued about my business, rushing around and then it happened. Smack! I tripped right over a brand new bucket of 6,000 perler beads that were strategically placed on the floor. The once navy blue, floral patterned rug was now a canvas of brightly covered beads that needed my immediate attention. Now, I wish I could say that I was gracious and calm. But the opposite was so. I let out the loudest sigh and groan, huffed over to the scene of the crime and told my daughter ever so enthusiastically (OK, I totally yelled at her) to come and help me. I wish you could have seen the look on all three of their faces. Well, let me take that back. I am glad you didnt. I was immediately ashamed that I was inconvenienced by this thing called mothering. I was mad that my task had to be put on hold because my four year old was being four. But what I was really upset about was that my life has been inconvenienced. Or at least that is how I see it at times. There are so many moments in a day that I miss the joy and blessings that are before me. I let others words sink in and consume my thoughts. Your life is sooooo hard. That is sooooo unfair. I cant imagine having to fit all that stuff in. Not that people dont mean well. I know they completely do. And I would say the same for sure. But when I start believing that life is not fair and that I (notice I keep saying I and dont even include Molly or the rest of the family) am going through so much, I miss all of the beautiful blessings that God has brought before us. Can I share the blessings for a moment? DIPG is ugly. No doubt. And we havent seen the worst of it. But with it, with the knowledge of knowing that unless God intervenes, our days are short with her, we are blessed to discover the joy of just being. Ive learned that there is nothing better than a giggle. No sound will ever be more sweet to me. Ive learned that each moment, like the early moments of the morning when eyes are still being rubbed and hair is disheveled , are the sweet moments that I look forward to everyday. And for the not so special moments, like perler beads all over the floor, I can cherish these too. Because it means my children are healthy enough and intelligent enough to enjoy such a craft. God is in every single moment. Hes in the spunky, silly, sleepy, sorrowful, and so much more. What I am coming to see is that I need to fix my eyes on these things. To really see them for what they are. They are precious. They are gifts. They are reminders that He is still near. They are teaching. They are tough.. but only to make us stronger. I am not saying by any means that I would wish this upon Molly. Upon our family. But I am so very thankful that through it, there can be so much more given. I know myself, and I know that I would never have learned these lessons if we continued on as we did. I would not begin to know gratitude as I am learning now. I wouldnt see God the way I do now. And I am so thankful for that. Philippians 4:11~ Not that I speak in respect of want: For I have learned, in whatsoever stat I am, therewith to be content...
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 02:10:20 +0000