It feels like Im running out of things to say as my world continues to contract. Ive been making more preparations rather than plans these days and it doesnt feel good. Oh, and this has been a reoccurring theme these past three years...people arguing with me that Im not going to die. Some I want to bash over the head and others I have a laugh with. Recently one of my customers stopped by for a visit and told me Id be fine. He had a relative live some 20+ years with my disease. It dawned on me that he, like quite a few others, were mistaking my having pancreatic cancer for prostate cancer. After a couple chuckles I realized it left me with the feeling that I wish I did have the one rather than the other. But a few days later I got so damn mad at the guy at one of the local pizzerias (best pizza in town mind you) insisting I was fine, Arguing with me Im fine and theres nothing wrong. I wanted to crown him with one of those big aluminum pizza trays. For ten years hes been telling me how sick he is (and Ive been sympathetic) and he feels like this and he feels like that (notice I didnt say he says he has this or that) and I finally said to him just what do you have? what exactly is wrong with you? After a lengthy pause he just proceeded to mumble quietly and said he doesnt feel like eating as much as he did 20 years ago and he feels nervous because his wife took the house and told him to get lost. Am I losing my fukking mind? Eeehh!
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 17:08:40 +0000
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