It gives me much joy to tell you once again i have beaten the GRIM REAPER,no thanks to my Mrs,Rita.As some people may know a few weeks ago i was taken to A&E in Nottingham where i stayed till 3.30am with a lodged piece of rocket trapped down my throat,i know freaky, or funny you would think depending on who you are (mentioning no names).Well yesterday the stakes were raised,while on the couch suffering from man flu there was a knock at the door,as i approach the door i saw it was Rita,suddenly,CRASH BANG WALLOP!!! Im lying on a wet tiled floor screaming in pain with my knee trapped under me,of course Rita has shut herself out and can only look through the door window while i lye there in agony,luckily Ritas dad comes to the rescue and opens the front door but decides to walk on me like a mat instead of around me but never mind hes 94 yrs old with dementia.Surely things cant get any worse?Well while im lying there i realise im wet,looking over i see what i think is dogs pee everywhere,but then i think why is this dogs pee burning my hands and arm.I cant move for 15 minutes or so,so now Rita whos now in puts a cushion under my head while i decide wether or not i have broken anything,eventually i try to get myself up because my hands are on fire.Anyway cut a long story short it was not dogs pee but thick caustic soda which she mixed in a bucket with an hole in it (unknown to her she says) to washed down something outside on the pavement.BUT!!! Realising the hole she does not go back to the sink but travels it through the kitchen and front hallway.As far as i know i have no life insurance unless my wife has taken some out without me knowing.So im putting it out there in the public domain if anything happens to me you know where to start looking,and it wont be the butler with the candelabra.This is whats left of my lovely brand new cream Georgio Armani jumper after the caustic soda had finished with it. BE CAREFUL OUT THERE PEOPLE!!!
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 14:15:06 +0000
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