It has been 2 ½ months since I began therapy in Charles City. I walked in with the aid of a walker and a neck brace, unsure of every step. From that first day I was afraid. Afraid of the journey set upon me by the accident that fateful day in September. Although my body was riddled with pain and partial paralysis, I continued on hoping that someday I could be free, hoping that someday I could be myself again. When we let tragedy define us as whom we are, then we are whom that tragedy allows us to be. It is too easy to be consumed by the sickness that envelopes the mind after a debilitating accident. Sleep and slumber feels like the only reprieve as you watch as though you may evanesce at any moment. But when you wake up every new day and take another breath, the air brings a new beginning, another chance to define ourselves as whom we are. So how do I define myself? As a man with a new outlook on life. As a man who was given a second chance to walk. As a man who enjoys helping others when I rarely would before. Today, I walk into therapy on my own accord. No walker, no neck brace, no cane. Determination and will power are making me whole again and every waking day is another challenge that I get to defeat. I feel the strength returning to what was once paralyzed limbs and the strength returning to what was once a paralyzed mind. I still have a fear of falling, but I will not let that fear stop me from being me. Although I walk without an aid, I still have balance issues. When I get tired, those balance issue become more cumbersome and therefore require a cane to help correct. If I walk on uneven surfaces I easily lose my balance. Picture me as a human ping pong ball bouncing off inanimate objects. It makes Beth nervous, sometimes it makes me nervous. But I have learned to catch myself on the closest object or person so I don’t fall. In my mind I am ready to go back to work. My body, Physical Therapist, Pain Specialist, and Neurosurgeon say otherwise. But of all the Doctors and Specialists I see monthly, there is only one I really listen to, my wife. Beth is an amazing woman. Anyone who knows her knows how strong she is. Those of you who don’t know her are missing the opportunity to grow as a person just in her presence. She has put up with a man who was once broken and who was once not much of a man. But she breathed new life back into me, showed me how to be a better man. She showed me how not to give up, how to propel forward, and how to take on life’s challenges with determination and hope. At the time of my accident, as I lay on the ground unable to move, Beth held my head in her hands and said, “I’ve got you”. I looked up at her and she took away my pain. I looked up at her and realized that she was my guardian angel. My journey on this road is far from over. Many potholes and obstacles still lay before me. But yet I am at ease. Because Beth, my personal navigator, is with me.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 16:14:59 +0000