It has been a really rough morning...All of my FB friends and family who have pets they love and who know me well enough to know what my furkids mean to me will understand this post.... I realize to many people, who see all the tragic things going on in the world, today, illnesses with a pet, or the general aging signs of a much loved pet, doesnt seem to be that big of a deal in the whole scheme of things....but to me, the pets in our lives, true family members in every sense of the word, are a big part of our lives, a way of coping with lifes problems and fears, is to bury our faces in our pets neck and escape the cruelties of life....This morning, as I got up and began the morning ritual of taking my four outside, I noticed my oldest girl, Kasa, hanging back...sometimes she isnt keen on leaving her bed to venture outside, preferring to sleep in a little, but once outside she seems to enjoy the winter weather more than the other three. So I gave her a pass and told her I would be back for her. I took the other three out and then came back in for Kasa. She was still upstairs...The past four-six weeks she seemed to have trouble seeing the stairs to go up or come down them but I discovered if I turned both the hall way light on upstairs and the light on the downstairs landing, she could maneuver the steps fine....this morning, she struggled to come down them, hesitating on each step and feeling her way down....once down, she trotted across the floor, but outside, she stumbled and hesitated to make it down the four steps of the porch....she was very slow and confused acting in the yard and I realized she was not able to see....Once inside I helped her back up stairs and went and got breakfast for all of them....Setting the bowl down in front of her I watched as she finally found the bowl with her nose, licked the rim and the outside of the bowl but seemed lost as to know to drop her head and to actually find the food.... I ended up hand feeding her all her food. She ate like she was really hungry, grabbing my thumbs a few times, not being able to tell my hands from her food. In watching her struggle to do what was no problem just a day or two ago, to being totally blind has been heart wrenching for me....She is my oldest, my first sibe, the one who made me fall in love with this breed....she babysat TuTanka when we brought her home and taught her all kinds of things, good, like the twice a day choir practice which is them howling at the top of their lungs, and the bad, such as tearing up all upholstered furniture I brought into the home....she was a nanny for my first two granddaughters, helping their mommys to take care of the little girls and offering herself as a bed, a playmate and a security blanket as the babies grew into toddlers and then children....We all know we will not have our pets forever, but it is never easy when you see the signs and know what is ahead....The best thing in the world was receiving into our family one sibe after the other; two from breeders and two from rescue....all so close in age and paired up in energy and health....but the saddest thing to now face is the knowing that I will be losing them close together.....so today is rough....Dealing with daily issues with Phoenix and now Kasa totally blind has thrown me for a loop....Our other rescue, Shadow was diagnosed years ago with PRA and he is pretty much totally blind, but it happened so gradually that he can run and play as though he can still see....Kasa is lost without her sight....I have to make the decision to keep her downstairs so she wont have to struggle with stairs or to continue to work with her on going up and down the stairs to keep her more mobile....Do I move my bedroom down so I am close by at night in case she needs me? If we move downstairs, what does this do to Phoenix who finds the upstairs a sanctuary, an area of security? And yet I know where Kasa goes Phoenix will want to be.....well, today I will just shut off the thinking and will just hang on...tomorrow I will be more clear headed and it will be easier to make a decision...Today, I just get by....
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 16:00:55 +0000
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