It hasnt even been 24 hours - how do I get on for the rest of my life :( I have so much room in my bedroom without a massive dog bed and rugs. I dont have anyone to give my dinner scraps too. No dog food to prepare. I can leave things on the floor without fear of them being tripped over. I didnt have to leave a night light on. I dont have to strategically choose the front door or the side gate when leaving the house as he always tried to get out into the front yard - he just loved to watch the word go by. Im nervous at home by myself without my boy to protect me. Door can no longer be left open at night - cats are pissed of. Im all alone cats dont care. I dont have to get up early to wash soiled bedding before I go to work. I have no one to put in my back seat of my car to go for a drive. No one following our every move. No meds to shove down his throat. No breaking my heart watching his crab walking - my hearts broken. No one to bring inside or open the door to when he and his dad get home. No one woke me up during the night panting in my face. No reason for me to say shhh go back to sleep. No Akira head to put my hand on next to my bed to say good morning. Theres no reason to creep around the house when hes asleep cause I dont want to wake him up. No mess to step over or wet foot from stepping in pee - nothing to clean up. His bowls and bedding are washed and put away - I dont know why - hes not coming back - ever ! I tried to move the cats feeding station to where Akira ate and they said no mum thats Akiras spot we cant eat there RESPECT. I need to get up and stay up - I need to find a purpose a reason to keep going for him - always for him as he was the love of my life xxx
Posted on: Wed, 28 Jan 2015 00:00:54 +0000
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