It is good to be posting on FDBS again. I usually do not title my writings but this time I am going to title it: It breaks my heart About two and a half years ago I met a young girl who was pregnant. This girl did not have much to her name, and struggling to get by. She would take the bus everywhere she went unless she had no money; then she would walk. After the baby came it was even harder for her because she would have to ride the bus to take the child to daycare, ride the bus to work, ride the bus to get the child and ride it home again. Her family would help her some but, for the most part, she did not have anyone. That is a lonely place to be. After she came into my life I started helping her with most of her needs. I began to watch the baby--for free--give her rides to and from work. Whenever she needed some time off I would be more than glad to keep the baby with me. Sometimes I would keep the baby for 2 and 3 days so she could catch up on house work, sleep, or just go and hang with some friends. There were a couple of times she did not have any place to stay so I opened my home to her. If she had a financial need I would help with that as well. I can honestly tell you that I had no motive except that I genuinely cared for the both of them. It hit me one day that I really didnt have much to do with it; God was pouring His love to her through me. Because everything I felt for her was just love; nothing more. I did not want anything in return. Recently however she has decided that she does not want me in her or the childs life. I am not sure why; she did not explain herself to me. She just sent me a text telling me she has moved on and I would not be allowed in their life anymore. REALLY? What have I done? Since I was in Kansas--about to be married--I couldnt do much either. At first I was upset--and I am not talking about a spiritual kind of way--I was mad. The enemy kept telling me that I had a right to be mad, and then he would explain why I had a right. I decided that I was going to walk in love; regardless of how I felt cheated. Each day the enemy would be there to remind me how upset I was suppose to be. I kept saying I choose to walk in love. So I began to pray for her daily to remind myself that I choose to walk in love. The other day I was just thinking about her and not seeing them again and it didnt make me mad it really broke my heart. Just then I felt God whisper to me how do you think I feel? Every time I see a child of mine struggling and they think I dont care; how do you think I feel? When a child of mine gets mad a me because they think I dont care; how do you think I feel? When my children dont believe that I care about every aspect of their life; how do you think I feel? When a child of mine hides from me because of something they have done--thinking I am mad at them; how do you think that makes me feel? When I see my children hurting, hungry, sad, lost, and abused; how do you think it makes me feel? It breaks my heart. I have given them my word that I would not leave them nor forsake them. I have given them my only Son, so how do you think it makes me feel when they do not believe me? It breaks my heart. When I see a child struggling with fear, anxiety, poverty, and hurt; how do you think it makes me feel? It breaks my heart. I could go on and on about what He said but I think you got it. I know that the only motive I had toward this young girl and her child was nothing but love. The only motive God has, and will always have toward us, is love. Of course you must be prepared for the enemies attacks on your mind telling you that God does not love you. The enemy will convince you that you cannot be loved based on a particular action of yours. I am going to say this as plain as I can; the devil will just flat out lie to you. He wont even sugar coat it, he will just tell you that if God loved you this would not have happened to you. He is a liar, not a speck of truth is in him. I am here to tell you that NOTHING you do or say can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. If there is something in your life today that has made you feel that God does not or cannot love you; I am here to tell you that He does. When you are at your worst that is you need to reach out to Him because He loves you. I am here to tell you that if you ever believe that there is anything that can separate you from His love; it breaks His heart. Father I pray for a spirit of wisdom and revelation for all who read this. I pray that their eyes would be open to your love and the depth of your love. I pray tonight for those who are lost, hurting, struggling, and held captive in some way--set them free, minister to them by your Spirit, embrace them with your love.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 00:02:07 +0000
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