It is my fifth and youngest childs first birthday. Im not usually this emotional over firsts like this. Ive done this, before. EVERYBODY has a first birthday, right?! Well, for nearly two years, Ive been riding a roller coaster of challenges, emotions, etc. I have used my village, and I have gone it alone, too. Beau is exceptionally happy. Its true. Even strangers in public just light up, when they see his smile and simultaneous-double-hand-waves. Ive raised (am raising) four other happy kids. Theyve all been jovial and carefree, while little. But this guy? He just exudes joy. I have cleaned, played with, cuddled with, cared for, disciplined, laughed at, tickled, and picked on this gorgeous baby boy for a year. Im his toughest foe. Im his biggest fan. Im his mother. I can honestly say that my entire mind, body, heart, and soul have been consumed by this kid and our circumstances, for a YEAR! Wow!! Part of me is thrilled to have had the chance. Part of me is sad to have wasted time on regret and sadness. Because...Beau is a GIFT. He is most assuredly one of five blessings whom god wanted ME to experience. He has made me think differently, feel differently, act differently, and BE different. He has shown me the depths of my strength, faith, and determination. He has given me hope and peace. And quite a lot of sleepless nights. :) Most of all, this last year with Beau has brought me certainty. Certainty that Im in the right place, doing the right thing, with the right people. My job as a mother is #1 on my list of priorities...and he (and all the other Things) makes it worth it. HAPPY FRIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Posted on: Fri, 14 Mar 2014 07:44:57 +0000
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