It is one whole week since we closed Claudias coffin. Seven days since we last physically saw her with our own eyes and held her soft, cold hands. She died eighteen days ago, which in some ways, feels like a lifetime ago now. We have so many people to thank, so many special people who have tried desperately to protect us. I always presumed that Claudias death would be the very end of Claudias Cause and that remains very much my intention although, I am starting to feel differently. It would be so easy to say that it is over for us now, to turn my back, to move on yet as these days pass slowly and painfully by, I realise that the fight is still here, for thousands and is it right for me to let those people, you, down? Maybe, through Claudia, I have the ability to make a change.....it doesnt even have to be a huge one, just a very small change for the better is just that, for the better. I cant find any words in this entire world to sum up how we feel, how I feel. There is a very specific reason why the English language does not have a single word to describe the loss of a child, quite simply, there is not anything like it. Seeing Claudia dead, seeing her officially die isnt something that anyone would ever want in their lifetimes. I guess part of my heartache is knowing that continues to happen every single day. I know that we cant stop all death, that is simply the way of the world but perhaps to stop senseless deaths through brain cancer is the way forward for me, truth is, it is all too soon, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, truth is, I never did
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:41:11 +0000
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