It is said or perhaps known (by some), what we think, or spend our time thinking about, comes to us. Believing this is true to a great extent, I try to keep my mind positive. I try to void the voices of all the doctors who tell me that I will not beat this cancer. Instead, I try to focus on getting well. I try to visualize the doctor telling me that a future scan shows no more cancer. I’ve been in chemo, non stop pretty much 15 months. You’d think the cancer would be gone, but it is not. It is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do – to keep my mind from wondering how it would be if I they don’t cure this cancer. And if they don’t, when should I expect to expire? Lately, for the past few days, I’ve been particularly weak in this regard, wondering if I will survive another year. The month of May and the rising of all my favorite blooms is making me sad a little bit. I wonder, as anybody in my condition would, if I will seem them all again. When I am weak, tired, sick and in a lot of pain (which I am right now, for the past two days), it is impossible to keep these thoughts at bay. My prayers have been filled with the ability to push aside the negative thinking and get back into the hope and the faith. It is very difficult to be peaceful right now.
Posted on: Mon, 26 May 2014 13:10:11 +0000
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