It is with absolute love and humility that I share with you the first chapter of a project I am engaged in that could not mean more to me. I hope youll go along with me on the journey with my Coach, wherever it leads us. And along the way, well see how blessed we truly are...and how, when living our lives with integrity in the center of Gods plan, we are designed and created to be a blessing to others. Please feel free to re-post and share this story if it lifts you up! Happy New Year!! ************************************************************************* The Coach Coach approached me with a determined look on her face. I ran my heart out in the 7th grade track try-outs for the 100 yard dash and she was going to offer me a spot. I just knew it! She smiled and said, Cathy, have you ever considered doing shotput or discus? What I didnt know was that I was already running with the 3rd stringers. And I was a terrible runner. There was nothing natural about my stride at all. We laugh about that now. And about the time she had to send me to the principals office for depantsing my friend in gym class. That led to my 10th demerit (nine others were for being tardy, of course). I found myself, the Sophomore Class President, sitting at an isolated desk with lots of time to consider my behavior during my three day in-school suspension. We also can now laugh about the time she nearly had to kick me out of the Peer Leadership Class for a raucous party I threw at my house which involved a knock on the door from the men in blue and a heart-to-heart with the local police chief, my dad, and me. And we can even laugh about the morning she got me to the hospital when I admitted I had tried to overdose the night before. Suicide isnt funny. At all. But we have to laugh because I was so fed up when my dad took my phone out of my room that I downed a whole bottle of Tylenol. Im pretty sure the Syrup of Ipecac they gave me in the ER did far more damage than the acetaminophen. I love that we can look back and laugh. When I was a kid, she was an enigma of cool confidence. Independent, living In her condo on Lake Erie. Iconic, driving around town in her convertible. She could be seen running. Or playing tennis. Always approachable and open. But never with the sense of desperation for approval that I still cant seem to shake. As an educator she didnt beg or demand that we pay attention. She left the learning up to us. She gave us the tools; she expected us to use them. In the community now, she facilitates outreach programs and raises money for numerous charities and her church. She has devoted her life to service. She is energetic, positive and an accidental inspiration. She doesnt do what she does to be an inspiration. She just is who she is and she leaves you inspired. And she has always inspired me. She believed in me and gave me opportunities to sing as a kid. In fact, her sisters wedding was my very first paying gig. She encouraged me to mentor kids. She pushed me to use my experiences to benefit others. And just three days before my dad died, she invited me to share his story with her students. Had she not done so, I may have never videotaped an interview with him which I now cherish. She is part of many pivotal moments for me. She was my go-to educator from age thirteen on. Over the course of the twenty years since graduation, she has been a very dear friend. She danced at my wedding, cried at my dads funeral and has always pushed me to use my talents for the good of others. Coach called me today. She has Stage IV cancer in her liver, lungs and lymph-nodes. The prospect is ridiculous. The words terminal and inoperable rolled freely off her tongue...it was obvious shed had practice sharing the news. She isnt going to pursue radical treatment because she wants to enjoy her remaining days. Remaining days?! Shes barely older than me, for godssake! I decided the best thing I could do was give her space to grieve. After all...I know cancer well, having lost my parents to it. And I know death. I can handle her meltdown. Its ok. Cmon, Coach...let me have it. I baited my hook with careful open-ended questions so I could catch her and rescue her from her pending devastation. And then I waited. Patience is key...right? She didnt bite. Not even a nibble. She is not afraid. She is not sad. She is not angry. She is ready. No regrets. Shed rather stay here, of course. But shes fine with leaving if thats His course. She feels like shes lived exactly as she was meant to. Did what she came to do. And can be proud of what shes leaving behind. Holy crap balls! Nothing?! Not a crack?! Not a hint of longing?! Nope. None. She told me today that she knew God had a purpose for her situation. Now, I was the one having the meltdown. I thought: if she can have a smile in her voice talking about her life and her forecast for death, I certainly have some major perspectives to shift. I paused and said, Im going to boldly proclaim that I am one of His purposes. I told her I needed a reminder of what matters and what doesnt. What is in my hands, and what isnt. What I can change, and what I must accept. And I needed someone strong enough to call me out. And she is, without a doubt, strong enough. You see, a truly great coach doesnt make you into something you are not. They make you better at what you naturally are. And she knew, from our first encounter, what my strengths were and how to get me to use them. Thanks to her, I set the school record in my events and really excelled at my sport. It was the only one I was ever good at. I met hundreds of students at dozens of mentorship retreats for which she signed me up, whether or not I felt I was worthy. I had the opportunity to truly affect young lives because she inserted herself into the grind of mine. When others looked at my mistakes and misdeeds and said my prospects for an impactful ministry were terminal, she knew that I still had a purpose. And she helped me put my energy into finding it. Back then. And again today. Without even trying...she is still coaching me towards my best. When we hung up, I was struck with a question for myself: What does MY life and legacy have to look like in order to be as comfortable about my death as she is? Because, right now, I am NOT there. Given her path to walk I would be so angry! At myself, of course! For not making the most of my time. For wasting so much energy on regret. For wishing things were different but neither pursuing actions of change or wellsprings of grace and acceptance. I could never ever feel peace if I faced that moment today. I would consider my life, as it is currently, a loss. And the only thing that gets me through the day is the expectation that someday I can fix it and get it right. But what if there were not enough somedays left? That question... And the implications, And the answer, THAT is the catalyst for my soul to search and my heart to quicken this day as the year comes to a close and we search for purpose and focus in the resolutions we make. Right now, what matters most to me is to do whatever it takes to create a loving environment for my kids. A childhood theyll remember fondly long after Im gone. And traditions theyll pass on to their kids. And to teach them what really matters. And to instill in them the unshakable confidence the Coach so handily wields. I want that to be MY legacy. There is a fearless woman trapped inside of me who is begging to be let loose. To be my capabilities. To fulfill my purpose. To actualize. As a mother. A person. A talent. A creation. A life. Dare I say...even as a Coach to others. Its time for me to call the shots, organize the team and win the game. Im ready. Ready to train my daughter to be the young lady God created her to be. Ready to help my son develop his skills. Ready to give my husband the pep talks he needs to keep his energy up when the clock is working agains us. Ready to focus in and play hard. I cant think of a better thing to be thankful for than a clear vision for my lifes purpose. I cant think of a better gift to give my family than my dedication to winning their hearts and minds. And there is no stronger resolution than the one which places me in the center of Gods will. So, Ill coach myself a little. --Find the event where you most excel --Practice. Hard. --Forget the shots you missed --Focus on the goal in front of you --Be ready for your opponents ....and note that you are your toughest rival --Support your team and let them assist you Listen to your coach And then... Go. Fight. Win. And when the game is over...take it all in. Youll have made memories strong enough to beat the buzzer no matter how much time you had on the court. A new season starts today. Thanks to Coach, and her legacy of courage, Im ready to face my toughest opponent: Myself. So: Hey! Fear of Failure! Youre goin down! Start the clock...Ive got awesome work to do. And Im ready.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 10:51:38 +0000
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