It may be time for me to settle down and find a wife. this is outrageously funny, but I have been thinking about it for a while. on the basest of levels, I need help around the house. I need someone who shows me how to give a shit if the living room gets vacuumed or not. because I do not. It is funny how my eccentric art sensibilities now look more like the manifestation of a hoarder. My broken old life is surrounded by things that gave me pleasure over the years, and now are meaningless, not entirely unlike myself. So today, I think about a wife. Someone who has also walked a hard path. Someone who brings strong life experience and wisdom and does not have a goddammed thing to prove to anyone. I think about meals, and the wholesomeness of eating with a friend. Today I think about eating silently with them, utterly happy with their presence. Perhaps hearty, aromatic, hot soup. I think about the minor tendernesses of life that make it all so damned beautiful. grocery shopping. doing laundry. talking nose to nose in bed while waking slowly to greet the day. having someone to consult with regarding those huge decisions in life that dont really matter one way or another. I think I would like to have a wife today. My fierce possessiveness is long gone. I am seasoned now, and the strength in my bosom has hardness like diamonds, but flexible. I am bullet proof but more fragile than I have ever been before. I know more than I have ever known before, and have forgotten more than I knew when young. This selfish search is probably a manifestation of my declining health. Everything hurts. Not just little aches and pains, I have serious wounds that are not going to heal until my last breath. I am not even looking for comfort. I have an adopted family out west in south dakota, and I have had the unfortunate privilege of procuring grave stones for several of them that have passed away over the years. I have recently had to do it again for a dear friend. I wish I did not have to see them go. I wish that job was never one that a friend had to do for another friend. But alas, it is. And the great sadness is mine. And the great privilege is love. And I was thinking about a wife today...
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 13:55:21 +0000
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