It mayve been the river flowing by in front of me, unceasingly, uncaringly or it mayve been the presence of my once-upon-a-time true love; I found myself in an elevated state of retrospection. Hence this piece of mindless rambling. There was a period of time when I was suicidal. I had this idea that if things got too painful for me, I could always take the emergency exit out into oblivion. Somehow, family, friends, well-wishers, and their possible distress at such an action of mine never figured into my selfish mindset. And then, one day, at the peak of my sorrow, I accidentally had a close, very close, brush with the exit. My then pain-drugged brain somehow registered each agonizing moment of that ordeal, and I cannot possibly express the anguish you feel when you are helplessly dragged towards that exit. I remember having an oceanful of regrets - so many incomplete things, so much to do, so many dreams, all of it would just end. It was only then I realized that suicide is never a way out. It is more appropriately like leaping from a boiling kettle into the flame. You all are aware (I hope) that energy, and mass, cannot be created or destroyed. Believe it or not, that is the very reason (I believe) afterlife exists. Our body molecules may disintegrate and get incorporated into the soil, and participate in various cycles and processes, but the mystery of our spirit, our life force still remains after our death in the form of energy. It bears the consequences of our actions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, you see. Nothing you do can ever be without any consequences. When you live, you have a practically minimal degree of control over your fate. When you take the exit, disrupting the natural flow of life, you give up even the little control you had, over to the very demons that caused you pain when you lived. You only assure for your spirit an eternity of torture, while youre helpless to do anything. Every breath you take now is a reminder that you have the power to bring change, no matter how insignificant it may seem, and it is the greatest gift you will ever have, trust me on that. I dont know what the point of my rambling was. I only know that life is precious, and no matter how painful it is, suicide is worse. So, if you ever feel like taking the exit, choose wisely. It is not a choice you can unmake. #Bunny
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 11:30:38 +0000
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