It took me a whole day but this is what i came up with when you are dealing with Disrespectful children....its long but ACCURATE.... How we deal with disrespect from our children as we rear them will affect how they interact with other for the rest of their life, and whether they will be models of respect or not. So, what do you do when your child is disrespectful to you? Pray, pray, pray for wisdom! “The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.” (Proverbs 1:7) Ultimately, your child won’t respect you until they respect God. We must pray them towards that goal. Although it’s God who makes true heart change, He asks us parents to play a critical role in forming our children. Proverbs 22:5 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” There are two aspects to Biblical “training” or discipline: the rod (in Hebrew, literally translated as “the stick”) and reproof (explaining to the child what they’ve done wrong). With some children, a sad look of disappointment from their parent is enough to correct the behavior. A strong-willed child needs more than that. The first step in discipline is reproof. Tell your child why disrespect is wrong. God hates it! He says so in Proverbs 8:13, “Pride, arrogance, the way of evil and perverted speech, I hate, says the Lord.” He even made it one of the Ten Commandments—“Honor your father and your mother that it may go well with you.” (Exodus 20:12)—alongside commandments as serious as “Do not murder.” The second step in discipline is helping your child see that their sin must be corrected. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15) This verse always hit me hard when I was tempted to look the other way and pretend that my son didn’t just say that. Our children are hearts of our own hearts…they leave our bodies, but never our hearts! “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15) The third step is implementing the discipline. The training and discipline will look different for each child. For tender-hearted, sensitive children, they might only need a gentle rebuke or a time-out. But for foolish, hard-hearted or strong-willed children, the rod and reproof go hand-in-hand. And by “rod,” yes, I’m referring to spanking. I know that many people believe spanking is outdated and that there are more “humane” ways to discipline, but allow me to explain my family’s philosophy, that we base on Biblical instruction. “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him diligently.” (Proverbs 13:24) In our family, we began with reproof, giving our children a chance to change their behavior. But we found that when that wasn’t enough, repeat offenses were nipped in the bud with one spank. A spank is never a swat or a hit, and it’s never in anger. We always explained to our children exactly why we were administering “the rod” and that we loved them, and that their behavior needed to change. When used correctly, it’s a rod of training and love which brings hope of change, not a rod of punishment. However, it takes wisdom to know when and how to use it. If a parent follows the myriad of verses pertaining to Biblical discipline (you’ll find lots in Proverbs!) and prays about its use, God will give them the wisdom to do the right thing for their child. Often parents get stuck on the reproof part…telling their kids to stop this or that over and over with no changed behavior in sight. If we only correct our children with words—scolding and warning and nagging—it causes hostility on our part because the behavior doesn’t improve. It brings on a battle of the wills. If this is where you find yourself with your child, then some more effective form of discipline needs to be implemented. In 1 Samuel, the Priest Eli repeatedly reproved his sons who were sinning, but they did not heed his voice, and continued sinning. Ultimately, the Lord held Eli responsible for his son’s actions, punishing Eli for “honoring his sons above the Lord,” and cut off Eli’s generations from being priests to the Lord. Whatever type of discipline is administered, each child needs to understand how they have offended God and you, and to ask God and you to forgive them. And it should always end in prayer for repentance and restoration. Ultimately, we want to lead our children to Christ. In fact, sometimes, we might even forgo the discipline and show grace and mercy to give them a picture of the grace and mercy that God showed us by sending His own Son to take the punishment that our sin deserves. God’s way takes time and patience, but the end result is a child who understands that disrespect to others is disrespect to God who created us in His Image. Our children are precious gifts from God, but they are sinners, just as we are, and need the training, forgiveness and restoration that comes from God.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 19:53:48 +0000
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