It took me and my pops nearly 40 years, and were taking it one day at a time. It takes work on both sides, accountability on the part of the abuser, and an enormous amount of grace by the abused. It is not an overnight sensation, and trust comes in baby steps. Be easy on yourself and recognize that who they were then may or may not be who they are now (hell, they could be worse! LOL). As you approach and surpass the ages of your parent at the time of the different traumas he/she inflicted, and you consider your own foibles and frailties, that helps remind you that parents are just human beings, trying and f**king up, just like the rest of us. Still, all that said, you owe your abuser nothing. You forgive them for you, not them. And if they are blessed by that grace, all the better. And, alas, no one is owed an invitation to travel along the rest of your journey, especially toxic people. Not even if that toxic person is the supplier of your seed or egg. Be merciful, but be easy on yourself and protect yourself first. -- Mgmt.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 08:44:28 +0000
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