It was 7:30 pm, on new years eve, and I was force feeding my son in his sleep. He hadn’t eaten since late afternoon and I didn’t want him waking me up in the middle of the night because the hunger pangs were setting in. He was tossing his head, with his lips pressed together, firmly choosing his sleep over my convenience.I finally gave up, and settled in for a few hours wait. My hyper active baby was asleep, and the best thing to watch on television was a repeat of a movie I once found fascinating. I wondered why Jackie Appiah only got burnt on the face after the acid attack when her hands were clearly covering her face during the altercation. The eye roll was inevitable, so was the subsequent mind wandering. My mind’s eye roamed wildly. I tried not to dwell much on any particular thing. I determinedly tried not to focus on issues that involved thought. Gradually, I tuned out the activity around me, till I came face to face with what I had been avoiding. Me! The true me. No pretences. Just scared old me. I was thinking about myself in a way that seemed eerily removed and distant. INTROSPECTION? Layer upon layer, I’d undressed myself, and staring at the me I now faced, I felt a mixture of emotions. I assessed my fear and grimaced at the fear of my fear. I weighed my options, and felt the ignition of hope I had been hoping to turn into a raging fire, catch on albeit almost imperceptibly. I smiled at how lucky I have been. To live, to be healthy, and to have hope. I chided myself for some mistakes, and made a resolve to be better. I was looking at me, and I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted to see. I could be better. I thought about the people I had lost within the year, some to the hereafter and others to the world, and prayed for them. Katari started to stir. Half an hour later he was washed and tucked in, and my reverie continued. I was also now in bed, facebooking mindlessly. My news feed was decorated with many inspirational new year messages. Some were “like” worthy, others “puke” worthy. Unfortunately Facebook doesn’t have a puke bottom. The majority of them had no notable effect on me. Then I thought…Tomorrow is 2015, a new year. How different is it going to be from today, the current or is it old year? I’ll wake up the same person, still afraid of my shadow and reflection, running away from me. In that instant, I sat bolt upright and thought, tomorrow cannot be just another day. It might be just another day but it is also the start of the new year. It is a new year for the rest of the world so it can be a new year for me. Then the significance of new year resolutions dawned on me. A significant statement that serves simultaneously as a plan of action and a vision statement. A new year resolution is not just a statement of a resolve to be better, it is a statement of hope. Carefully I made mine. I stated it mutedly so the rest of the world couldn’t hear me, but loud enough for God to. Today is the 1st of January 2015. It could be a new year for you, or just another day. If it is a new year, let it be a beginning of a better you. If today is also just another day, be reminded that it is also a new day. A possibility for you to be more fulfilled. Be reminded constantly of the inconstancy of life, and make every day, be it in the middle of the year, or at the end of it, COUNT! Written by Sajida . To a better 2015. Happy new year people!
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 12:20:31 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015