It was a long day yesterday. I ran from 4am on and in the afternoon I took Matt to get his hair trimmed, shop a bit and then get pizza. I was worn out, ready for a nap. As we drive back to his apartment I asked him if it was OK if I just dropped him off - instead of walking him to the door and going in and then saying goodbye as usual. His face lit up. I smiled, Dropping off or picking up? (a line from Ghostbusters) and he laughed. As we pulled into his apartment complex he looked over at me and gleefully announced, Just dropping off! So I pulled up to his door and he hopped out of the Jeep as if he was on cloud 9. The ladies next door were sitting out on their front stoop and Matt turned toward them, flashed a HUGE smile and waved, glanced my direction and did the same. He opened his front door and again turned toward me, gave me a huge wave and smile and gleefully said, Bye!. Such a small thing, walking to your own door all by yourself. No one over your shoulder, no one waiting for you to get out your keys. You walk to your door, open it and step in - all on your own and you never think twice about it... at least I didnt until I saw Matts reaction to that simple independent act. Now I know. I know that I dont need to walk him to his door. I dont need to carry anything in or wait to get a hug before I leave. I can just pull up, get that hug while in my Jeep, and say my good byes. No need to walk him to his door - which has been just habit up until now. His reaction, his immense joy at walking his path and opening his door alone schooled me a bit about the simple joy of doing such things by ones self. Do you remember your first place? Do you remember that simple act and the feeling of empowerment that it brought? I had forgotten it until I saw it in Matt yesterday. Then it hit me and I remembered my own first place, the feel of my own key in the door, stepping into my own place. I get it. Matt reminds me of how it all felt to be newly independent and you can bet that I will be dropping him off more from now on. What a masterful teacher - so subtle in his lessons. Matt is my Yoda.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 09:04:29 +0000
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