It was approx. 9:15pm when Todd asked me to get him some water. The interaction between us gave me a bad feeling. Before I placed the cup back on the table I knew it was close to the end. I went out and said something to the nurse and she said, are you serious? and I said, yes She went in to check on him and came running back out and I asked her if my indications were right and she said, yes. She right away called Todds doctor and asked for pain meds for his IV They have increased all of them to keep him comfortable. It was one of those times when I wish I hadnt been a witnessed to what I saw because it is now burned in my brain and the sadness and helplessness that I felt made it more difficult. Its now 11:03 pm and he is resting comfortably. The nurse told me that he was going through terminal anxiety. The selfish part of me wishes that I am wrong, but the compassionate side wants him to be at peace in heaven with Teri Ann and Aynslee. Our Almighty God Above, In this time of need, I ask for you to strengthen me. You are my strength and my shield; You are my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I know, Father, that Your eyes go to and fro throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts long for You. Im longing for you now. The body grows weary, but my hope is in you to renew my strength. I do not fear, for you are with me. I am not dismayed or overwhelmed, for you are my God. I know You will strengthen me and help me; that You will uphold me with Your righteous hand. Even as the shadows of illness cover Todd, I beg for the comfort of Your strength to make his journey peaceful. Take him in your arms and deliver him. Dear lord, Im begging you through your son Jesus for your strength and courage to get me through this time. AMEN The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; 2 Samuel 22:2
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 05:20:11 +0000
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