It was exactly three years ago today. I remember it so vividly, because It was 6 months to the day that Larry had passed away. I was out shopping. I remember literally looking around at everybody all happy and smiling... feeling so irritated at the fact that I was so frigging sad. I was in line at Macys when a woman on her phone steps directly in front of me. My immediate reaction was to snap out. Who is this lady? Who does she think she is? I didnt snap, instead I asked her (pretty sarcastically, I wont lie) if she knew where the line ended. She ignored me and continued her phone conversation. I was dumbfounded. To be cut by someone is annoying... add in a loud phone conversation, well that makes it down right unbearable. I stood there staring at her back like, wtf? Then, no word of a lie she says... Larry, Im at the mall. She says his name what seems like a million more times. I wanted to cry, tackle her, and leave the store all at the same time. It felt like a cruel joke. At this point... she is the next one in line. I hear I can help the next person. I bolt to the open register. I cut her off like a 5th grader on taco day at school lunch. It is then and only then she decides to end her phone call. Excuse me, I was next. I laughed out loud. This woman never even knew I was there. HA! I never said a word. She just kept saying I was next. She stood there breathing down my neck the entire check out. This woman would have gotten to me even if grief wasnt leading my way, but she really got to me. I just kept saying to myself, Nancy... this woman has absolutely no idea what youre going through. Would it have mattered? Would she have been more considerate if she had known of my grief? I like to think so. Maybe she had her own reason for being the way she was. After all, I didnt know her story either. Tonight shopping.... I was so aware of where I was. Emotionally. Mentally. I was patient. I was in a peaceful place. As I was looking around at the people in line with me, I thought about the secret battles some of them may be facing... and how I will be damned if I will ever add to someones hard times. Even a strangers. This isnt about the rude lady. This isnt about being cut in line. This is about the realization of how far I have come in 3 years. Have I changed? Yup. I have more empathy. I have more compassion. It is these milestones that make me feel so amazingly grateful and thankful.... long after the Turkey is gone. ❤️
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 04:29:53 +0000
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