Its 12am. & This is probably a waste time writing this, considering it wouldnt give a shit to anyone, apart from me. Writing this is a way to express how I feel and to let all the emotions and everything out, because Im sick of keeping everything in all the time and scared to speak up, and in the end it just leaves me in a mess with all these problems, and I just want room inside me to be happy, but I cant because Im full with sadness, and heartbreak, and problems that just need to be let out so I can be happy again. If you have the time to read this, it will mean a lot to me, and Im just expressing how I feel. So many people are always coming up to me saying Theres plenty more fish in the sea Yeah, of course there are plenty more fish in the sea & I used to say that to so many people, but I never knew what it felt like to be actually in love So many people are going to come up to you and say that, and people like me, are just going to push aside that quote. Because you dont want to look for more FISH. in the SEA. You want that one fish that stands out from all the rest.. Your nemo You dont want other fish you want your nemo... Yes, Ive been in love so many times, Ive had relationships were I have fallen in love with someone, and they end up leaving me or I end up leaving them. Yes, it hurts. Yes I got over it. When I met this one girl, and Im going to say her name because I want the world to know how much I love her, and Im not embarrassed. Yes, at the start when we first started dating I was embarrassed, and I regret that a lot. I used to be Facebook Famous where I had 74 thousand people following me and following every step I made. I was a roll model to them. They knew me because I was Facebook Famous. They didnt know anything about who I really was, what I go through or anything. They knew me from the outside, not the inside. Most of the people followed me because I was cute because I was a directioner and so many times I got hate because I was a boy directioner for attention.. I was just a directioner with a penis thats what people seen me as. Knew nothing about my inside, actually. They didnt know shit about my outside either, apart from my cuteness and my fake smile, which Im pretty good at. Im not a directioner with a penis I was born Female thank you very much. I was not being a directioner for attention. At first I was afraid to be a directioner because I was a girl wanting to live as a boy, I was afraid people would make fun of me. They gave me the courage to be myself, not only that. Leah gave me the strength and courage to be myself. I lost my account with thousands of followers, and made this Facebook Ever since then, I have found who I am, and deep inside, I am happy that I get to be myself not some stupid facebook famous, and pretending Im cool, got heaps people on my side. It was hard because they knew nothing about me and I didnt know who to trust. I truly love Leah, even though we are no longer together anymore, and it hurts like hell, she gave me the courage to be myself. She gave me the strength to not be afraid of who I was. She always made me smile, always made me laugh. I love her, and honestly I would never ever hurt her. It hurts having her in my heart, and not in my arms, but it still makes me smile, that I still have her in my life. So many people have hurt me, and yes, she was one, but there is something in me, that, no matter how many times she hurts me, I still want her back, I still want to be the one to make sure shes happy everyday, make sure shes getting the love, support, and care she needs. And so much more. Even though shes let go, Im still hanging on, with every little string I have. Leah, I just want to tell you for the 10000000th time, I LOVE YOU. & I want you to never ever forget that. Its 12:20am not, and Im crying while writing this. I miss you princess, and for the people who are reading this, and the person who will end up dating Leah, I just want to tell you. When shes sad, let her rant at you, listen to her, dont get angry at her, listen to her, understand her, cuddle her when shes finished. Let her cry on your shoulder. Kiss her, make her feel loved, make her feel special, treat her like a princess. Put her first, accept her for who she is, when youre laying next to her.. cuddle her, play with her hair.. she likes that. Do fun things with her. Give her piggy back rides, watch movies with her, dont laugh at her, laugh with her. She likes wearing baggy hoodies, shell probably end up stealing yours.. Let her, dont let her go, shes such an amazing girl, and dont ever ever hurt her. Please dont hurt her, and I hope you treat her right. I wish I would carry on doing this with her. Goodnight. Facebook.
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 12:29:47 +0000
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