Its November and Thanksgiving is fast approaching, but have you ever spent any time with your kids to teach them the basics of giving thanks and what it means to be truly grateful for something they have or something done for them? It starts with the pleases and thank yous, but can be so much more than showing good manners. It is true, gratitude is one of the trickiest ideas to tackle when it comes to toddlers since they are by nature still have a very small world revolving around them. By learning gratitude, they become sensitive to the feelings of others, developing empathy and other life skills along the way. Children model their parents in every way, so make sure you use please and thank you when you talk to them. Thanks for that hug -- it made me feel great! Insist on their using their please & thank you words, too. Work gratitude into your daily conversation. When you reinforce an idea frequently, its more likely to stick. One way to turn up the gratitude in your house is to pick a thanking part of the day. Two old-fashioned, tried-and-true ideas: Make saying what good things happened today part of the dinnertime conversation or make bedtime prayers part of your nightly routine. Have kids help. It happens to all of us: You give your child a chore, but its too agonizing watching him a) take forever to clear the table or b) make a huge mess mixing the pancake batter. The temptation is always to step in and do it yourself. But the more you do for them, the less they appreciate your efforts. Dont you feel more empathy for people who work outside on cold days when youve just been out shoveling snow yourself? By participating in simple household chores like feeding the dog or stacking dirty dishes on the counter, kids realize that all these things take effort on the part of the individual doing them. Look for some way they can actively participate in helping someone else, even if its as simple as making soup for a sick sibling. While gettnig things ready, talk about how happy it will make their brother/sister feel when theyve given it to them. Insist on thank-you notes. When younger, the cards could amount to some drawing done for them and your own thank-you attached, but once theyre old enough to write, even if a bit illegible, they can scrawl out the letters with some spelling help or they can even dictate the letter while you write. Practice saying no. Of course kids ask for toys, video games, and candy -- sometimes on an hourly basis. Its difficult, if not impossible, to feel grateful when your every whim is granted. Saying no a lot makes saying yes that much sweeter. With the holidays coming around, youre probably thinking this isnt the best time of year to start any of this saying no business or trying to make gift receiving more special than last year...perhaps easing them into it with the new year would be better... But really, this is the perfect time to shift their emphasis from Im going to get presents to this is time to spend together and to be recognize who and what makes each of us happy. Limit extracurricular purchasing - Instead of buying gifts for each friend in every social setting, perhaps a party with a gift exchange would make for quality time together to be thankful for even years down the road Take the big day slowly - Instead of one huge gift-grabbing frenzy, have family members open presents one at a time, so you have a few moments for appreciation built in for every gift. Downplay the presents. Put more emphasis on celebrating -- making cookies, attending church, decorating the tree, lighting the menorah, visiting relatives. Stash em. Put half of the gifts away (out-of-town relatives wont know, and neither will your preschooler) and dole them out as rainy day surprises throughout the year? Take them shopping. For other family members, that is. Even better, have them create homemade gifts -- even if its a crayon drawing. Children get immense pleasure out of giving gifts and seeing you express gratitude to them. Another opportunity to demonstrate how to show the appreciation that you would hope your child will emulate. **Thank you Parents Magazine for a great article which prompted the content of this posting.**
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:22:31 +0000
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