Its a beautiful day - im the luckiest man alive... I have got a beautiful partner with babe (Poppy Mae Slade OR Henry Christopher) on board & they are sleeping- I have just spent an hour talking to baby through the wall (mums tum). Life is sweetening up......I, it would appear am improving so well that I am going to be able to survive (may sound sensationalist but I was OUT OF THE GAME). After three years of a hellish existence- its finally ALL coming together.... Its been an interesting journey (for those that dont know - a story of severe mental illness & homeloss, hospitalisations, and ridiculous scenarios brought on by psychosis & now seemingly; full recovery - which was never expected)..The recovery!? Who knows why - so? Throwing meds away? Friends? Forcing oneself back into "life" & its stresses. I owe a debt of gratitude to Natalie Whitehead & Barbara Battams & woolfman darkes & reece winter & Carlos Montero Fernandez, and doug newmann & Paul Bradley for picking me up and giving me hope & a focus when the world around me was not just warped because of my mind - but warped because of pressures and dire circumstances. THOSE FRIENDS know having witnessed the devastation mental health issues can bring. - That WE ALL need to show compassion (as I was) by my true friends listed above - they reached out just as I was deciding to leave....WE need as a community to emmulate this nurturing caring behavior to our "lost" - not keep "kicking them" & walking on - ignorant as to their issues. If someone you know struggles - I would be more than happy to share my experiences and carefully guide to light..or just Talk which is one of lifes misunderstood medicines. I have a huge network of friends whom empathise through experience - whom could talk to you or them. I have written this post this morning - because here I am sitting on bench in a secret location overlooking the sea - it is beautiful - it is warm and the sea is stroking the sands - I have my mind again- I have a beautiful wife to be & child to be. I, it would appear; have achieved what I originally self taught myself- through unwanted intrusive thoughts - a location in life beyond my reach. A man I recognised walking the stones... He looked at me and immediately walked up and asked me for money & cigarettes - I gave him everything in my pockets - he was drunk and high... He didnt recognise me?! He had been my roomate in a hostel - my roomate for two months....THAT COULD BE ME.????? He after taking my money my cigarettes became embarassed when I tried to converse about him... He is not at rock bottom yet - but beaware guys - u have to hit your own rock bottom first.... So I am eternally grateful to life - fate - friends - loved ones lost - whoever it is steering this ship - for it would appear that the captain has taken the bridge once more.... Life itself is now a happy one. I feel reborn - I am learning every day as we all should do- but I feel tentatively more aware of why things happen, and the joy in all things good or bad. The bad is to teach you and test you - strengthen you & the good to allow you to flourish - I am humble - I am learned &yes I talk too much.. Hakuna matata - no worries!!!! Peace!!! Im going to take my beautiful partner Holleigh Johnson and her sis Hannah Johnson and feebster to lunch.... & to think I feared going outside..... amazing !!!!
Posted on: Sun, 14 Jul 2013 09:04:48 +0000
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