Its a little after 2AM and once again I feel the need to put my thoughts in a safe place for keeping. Noone has to read them. They are for me so I can hopefully go back to sleep. There will be many more writings like this one. What has brought me to this point in this time Im as unsure of as I am about a lot of things. What might seem minor to some can be felt as major to me. A recent event in my life is what I believe might have prompted this need in me to get so many things out of my head, off my heart and in a safe place for keeping. I will write about that event at another time.Tonight or this morning, I need to talk about me, my relationship with God and some of the times I have called on him . I love God. I believe in God. I dont think I would be here today if both were not true. I never hesitate to thank God for the many little blessings throughout my life.There have been many times in my life when I have begged God to come get me, take me with him when I have felt I could not endure a certain pain any longer. Im not necessarily feeling that way at this moment. I feel that way when I see a stray animal, a TV commercial showing abused animals, that lonely painful hurting look in another humans eyes or face and especially a sad unloved abused scared look on a child face. I can get pretty wrapped up in a animals or another humans pain be it physical or emotional. One of those times was when someone I loved very much was dying from congestive heart failure. Over in the morning one morning, I could here this person moaning and groaning in pain from another room. I got up, went to check on them. They finally went back to sleep. I sat down in a chair determined to stay with them throughout the rest of the night. I began to feel unbearable physical pain all over my body. The pain was so bad I started begging God to help me.The pain ran its course and eventually subsided. My pleas were answered. Feeling somewhat better and even getting sleepy, I am gonna stop for now and go back to bed but not before thanking God that I am feeling better and sleepy.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 08:09:14 +0000
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