Its a rant so dont bother reading..just need to get it out of my system in a virtual social way cuz i am too coward to face the victim of this post. In almost 25 years of my life,Ive had ups and downs,I went on found negative inputs and did my best to find a positive concept about them,I had the plesure and honor to be part of some peoples lives , i saw them growing ,losing it , i supported when I could and I cherisshed every single person I met ...maybe because I am a doctor who fan and when 11th said that he never met a person that wasnt important I really took em on it ,I dunno but yeah I do believe the same..bad or good every single person i met had something worth tresuring them for...I might seem fake for acting this way,maybe not genuine even ,but thats how it goes..I love every single one of the people i meet who more who less ...even the one who hurted me or pushed me away..cuz they thought me something and they helped me find that my own personal limits are way beyond what I thought. I smile ,laugh , joke around and always am ready to be clumsy n cheezy...doesnt mean I have no drama or I dont have problems of my own..it just means I see the bigger picture .. the fact I might not open up to you or tell you my secrets or what so ever is not mistrust..is simply because I dont befriend you for the sole porpuse of feelin miserable and make you feel miserable bout my drama..i befriend you because you make me forget about my problems..you become my sort of happy place where i can have a breath of fresh air and just sit and talk and be happy GENUINLY happy because i know that you care as much as I do. And yet in 25 years of my life. Never a person ever hurt me as much as you did,maybe cuz for once I decided I was going to try the whole open up stuff everyone talks about... Not to be the shoulder rather than being the head layin on it I made few steps and decided screw logic and rationality I will open the doors to emotions! Eventho every cell of my body was against that ...I did it anyways...ending up being a great mistake apparently In 25 years of my life...I never got hurt this much... i never thought Id ever feel the pain of losing control over my own decisions and emotions...so yeah I cant blame you for it because I am the person who accepted and wanted to have you as my friend..I walked extra miles...I tried to be as considerate as possible...but the result..was me losing my pride..my smile and replace it with a tired one..and learning to master the art of human masks All I can say to you though is thank you For making me question my opinionmy ideals Thank you for ripping of a person that wanted nothing but your well being. A person that went the extra mile only to be able to see you smile Thanks for making me question my honesty and genuinity towards others Thank you for making me realize one more final time that...whatever I do, I shall never expect anything in return. And just look at the bigger picture that is me doing things. For the sake of doing them. Thank you lastly for breaking the heart of a person who considered you more than a sister ;) Ciao.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:49:12 +0000
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