Its been 5 weeks and 2 days since Hardings 2nd open heart surgery. Weve been back and forth from the hospital everyday, for 5 weeks and two days. Its been much harder this time around than it was during our first stay here. Weve learned that Harding does not tolerate surgery very well, what with his cardiac arrest after the first one and the paralysis of his diaphragm after the second one. Its also taken him a long time to recover from his tracheotomy, which the doctors were not expecting, but we were. This past week was very similar to last week, initially. We kept trying to get Harding to switch over to the home ventilator, and he wouldnt tolerate it very well, and we would have to switch him back to the hospital ventilator. However, in the past couple days he has been able to fully switch over to the home ventilator!!! This is a HUGE milestone and accomplishment for him, and we are very thankful. He has been doing much better during the nights as well, which is another weight off our shoulders. Weve seen Harding smile more and act more like himself, and its such an encouragement. Our sons smile gives us strength. The doctors are planning on checking the function of his diaphragm on Monday, this will be the first check. They have not been able to check it up until this point because he was need the hospital ventilator and Please pray alongside of us that they find improved diaphragm function, even if its just a little bit. The doctors that weve talked to that have seen this before at other hospitals (there has never been a case of double phrenic nerve paralysis at Cincinnati Childrens Hospital before, Harding is the first kid ever to have it there) said that they usually see improve 6-8 weeks after the nerve was paralyzed. We are approaching that time frame very soon (it will be 6 weeks this Friday) so again, PLEASE PRAY! This week was really tough emotionally and spiritually. Its hard not to feel like you are stupid when you are in a hospital day in and day out, around doctors who know way more than you. Its hard not to feel like the doctors and nurses are judging you when you go home at night because you have to get sleep and be with the rest of your family to be able to make it through another day of this. Its hard not to feel like God isnt listening when you pray for your childs healing every single day, multiple times a day, and you dont see the healing you so desperately want. I was broken and exhausted. But God met me in my brokenness and showed me that even though the fire of this trial burns, that Jesus is standing right beside me in it...getting burned as well. Thats the beautiful thing about God, when we suffer He suffers with us. This fire will not be fruitless, it will refine my faith and character. God is a good God and is loving our family so well during this time (especially through you all), helping us to stand up in it. Gods healing of Harding may not come in the way or in the time frame that we want, but it will come. Whether its here on earth or in Heaven, it will come. We can have hope in that, even if its hard. Just because this is all so hard, it does not mean that God isnt good. Our circumstances do not define God, they usually define the world or ourselves. God is good despite our circumstances, and without Him we would never be able to withstand them.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 16:02:23 +0000
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