Its been a long 6 months since her cancer diagnosis. And longer few weeks. And today felt like the longest day. Even when you know death is inevitable, youre still never really quite prepared for it. 17 years and 5 states later, today at 12:14pm, my sweet, loving, precious V passed away on my chest, ironically, where she started when she was about 5 weeks old as a broken kitten. I know Ive posted about her before, but I feel compelled to write again anyway. Those of you who are also cat moms, or pet dads will completely understand. I was on my way home from a nightshift. On the dirt road to our house I noticed a white bag, so I intended to straddle my car over it. Then I saw an eyeball. She was trying to drag her poor little self off the road. I hurried home, grabbed a box, threw a few pieces of kitty food in it and off I went...into the woods...at 2 in the morning. And there I found this half dead snowshoe kitten meowing for someone to help her. After cradling her on my chest the rest of the night, I took her to the vet as soon as it opened. He told me she has a broken elbow, broken ribs, a ruptured eye socket and who knows how many internal injuries from whomever threw her out and ran her over. Take her home and love her Jody, she isnt going to live. I didnt take kindly to that and anyone who knows me, knows if there was a stray nearby, I was the crazy cat lady. I was bound and determined to save this poor tiny thing who fit in my hand and also between my boobs. And so began the healing. I kept her on my chest at all times when I wasnt at work, and when I was, our year old kitty Zoe helped look after her. Zoe was a bit jealous of V at first, but she eventually took over as a mom to V. Licking and cleaning her till V could do it herself. It only took a few months of strength, good nourishment and improving health, and Miss Violette BooBoo became the chatty sassy girl of the house. Fitting for a snowshoe Siamese. My husband always said she was the mouthy one, Zoe was the good one. I told him V took after me :) She was still skittish of other people, even after all these years. Especially if my husband or daughter walked in the room too quickly. That was, until she got sick with this fn cancer. In 6 months the tumor in her cheek grew 4x the size it started at, and in a 5# cat, it made her face look bigger than the rest of her. Although she continued to eat, drink, pee, poopy, love and purr, she started dwindling away. She was just skin and bones and yes, it was selfish of me to hang on to her simply because I couldnt imagine life without her. I still cant. But I know her quality of life was not what it used to be. She even stopped hopping up on our bed to sleep next to my head a few weeks ago, so I knew the borrowed time was coming to an end and I just had to face it. She was dying and nothing could save her. Not even me this time. She gave me a nose-to-nose today and hasnt done that since she was little. I think it may have been her letting me know it was okay to let her go. So even though part of my heart died today with her, and Ive cried so much I cant see straight, Im very proud knowing that the kitty who wasnt supposed to live very long, proved them wrong. I take comfort in that. Im thankful my brother will be taking her home to PA to bury her with our other furry babies that have gone before us. Im thankful I had a wonderful 17 years with my sweet girl. Im thankful she was strong enough to fight to live as a baby and strong enough to let me know when it was time to go. If there is a heaven, she has no more pain and can see now with TWO big beautiful blue eyes. I love you my sweet Violette BooBoo. Thank you for letting me be your Mom. 8/27/97-11/13/14
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 23:03:56 +0000
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