Its been a long time since Ive spoken or even thought about God, my idea of him atleast. Cant help but to think Ive been selfish. How can I possibly think I can do this on my own. I spend alot of time by myself, like 70% if I had to calculate. Id love to think there is an intellectual higher power looking out for us. To some that may be a sign of weakness but I have to, no I want to wire my brain like that, believe in it so that I can keep sane. Thats me taking control in a way because If i ever were to commit to the idea that were the absolute I really do think I would go crazy then Id be truly weak. Wow, cant believe Im still venting like this on social media especially on my spiritual views but just wanted to be honest where I am in my journey for me and my loved ones. I know they care no matter any differences. I understand I still have a long way to go and alot more to learn. Everyday is a conscious effort to open my eyes. So please excuse me if I trip or fall because I keep getting up atleast and that matters even if Im just a very tiny part of the equation. And as Im writing this and come to an end the final word that comes to mind is LOVE. That might be the answer, atleast right now it is and thats all we have. God must want me to love a little more. This has been a therapeutic session friends so thank you for reading.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 03:07:11 +0000
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