Its been a month. One month since the worst day I have ever expierenced. I had thought I had known a broken heart before this, but I did not. Ive heard a quote-“Time doesn’t heal things. God does.” Wise words. The problem, though, is that God doesn’t always heal things quickly. At least not for me. I still feel broken.I still feel empty.I still cry. A lot.I want steps to fix things. Tell me what to do to feel happy again, and I’ll do it. Give me a list, and I’ll finish it in a week. But grief doesn’t work like that. There are some days I feel great. Like myself again. But there are other days I struggle. I’m angry. I’m disappointed. I wish life were different. Miscarriage. A war between remembering and forgetting. I never want to forget, even though it is painful, but sometimes remembering makes it nearly impossible to get through the day. I keep myself busy, but when I stop I always think of you. My doctor called today, knowing it was a month from the day I lost you. He said hed be hearing from me soon, he knew Id have good news within a few months. Maybe so, but Ill still always miss my third baby, and my heart will always ache for you. You dont move on, you get used to living with the pain. Today we sent you our messages on balloons to float to heaven. Im sure you got them, I felt it in my heart. My sweet angel, no one ever wanted anything more than I want you. Sometimes miracles arrive, so tiny you cant feel the weight of them, and yet we are still changed, and we are blessed none the less. 🎈❤🎈👼❤❤ Angel of my Tears👼❤ How do you love a person who never got to be, or try to envision a face you never got to see? How do you mourn the death of one who never got to live. When theres nothing to feel good about and nothing to forgive? I love you, my little baby,my companion of the night. Wandering through my lonely hours,beautiful and bright. What does it mean to die before you ever were born,to live the lovely night of life and never see the dawn? Ah! My little baby,you lived like anyone!Lifes a burst of joy and pain. And then like yours, its done. I love you, my little baby, just as if youd lived for years. No more, no less, I think of you, the Angel of my tears. ❤👼❤ ❤11❤2❤14❤👼
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 23:41:59 +0000